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Jealousy of People Who Have Lots of Friends

Normally I would be taking a nap.  But I find myself so restless that I can't do it.

I know a lot of Christians who are blessed with a lot of Christian friends.

I think about the Church hurt I've been through, and how it continues to hurt me.

I think about it, and wonder what did I do wrong?

Here I am 45 years old, friendless, and around people who don't understand me.  They have their circles and I don't have mine.  I feel like I'm a loser.  I don't want to feel this pain, but life forces me to feel this pain.  Why can't I let it go?  How come things continue to drag me into these deeply negative hurtful feelings over and over again.  It feels like ***.  Of course I have talked to Jesus about it.

Just cause you talk to Jesus about something, doesn't mean you get it.  It has got be in His Will, and He's got to know it is best for you.  But I don't understand why this pain is best for me.  I just don't get it.

1
soulsings October 8th

@tryingtosurvive2024 I hear you. There are times when I am confused about which way to turn and whoi to turn to. 

When I have a pain in my body I know that part of this body is hurting and I try to understand what it needs. Sometimes just some love and attention. 

When my mind and heart are confused, I ask myself what attitudes and actions have I had or done that could have led to this situation. It is not easy to see that it is not a punishment that we are in our present situation, but we have lived our life in a way that has conditioned us to respond in this way.

I do not have the answers but I am starting to ask the questions. Just asking the questions in new ways has helped me cope with the difficult challenges I face.