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unable to accept

Theamani December 9th, 2021

i need some advice.

i have problems with my husband at the start of our marriage. he was never emotional support. inshort he wasnt my friend.

i donnot know without friendship how we can love another person.

because of our traumatic start of marraige i am unable to move on.

its so hard for me to accpet that certain things are not meant for me.

i literally needed a friend. i ask him to be one.

is it a good idea that the person who give me trauma became my friend to sort it out or help me move on or its just a bad idea.

2
QuietMagic December 10th, 2021

@Theamani

Hi, from what you've shared, you've felt like your husband isn't emotionally supportive, and that's something that's really made your marriage feel difficult. So you've asked him to be your friend, which you understand as someone who is emotionally supportive.

I guess a couple follow-up questions I might have for deciding whether you feel comfortable with him as a friend:

  • 1) Does he understand what you're asking for when you say you want him to be a friend (i.e. you're looking for him to be emotionally supportive)?
  • 2) Do you feel safe trusting him with sharing things that are bothering you?
Brahmm December 12th, 2021

@Theamani You are not wrong Amani. We all look for a partner for a life when we get married, a best friend with whom we can share anything and who can support us in everything. I think talking about it with the partner can help the most we just need the right words to explain ourselves. But I can not really give any advice. I really hope that you can sort this out with your husband. As I can feel you care for him and your relationship with him. I wish the best for you. Take care.