relationship advice, warnings, and questions

Managing relationships

Hi i am shonali .. i am 16 years .Due to depression and other psycological problems my doctors had advised me to drop my highschool studies for 2 years.. this year i have joined a new school in the 8th grade.. this guy and i goes to school in the same bus.. we had never spoke .. he is senior to me.. me always had eye contacts.. everyone could see there was something .. one day he came up to me and gave me his facebook id and asked me to add him over there.. after i added him there, we talked for some days .. one day he proposed to me .. i had a crush on him but i didnot accept to his proposal thinking he wasnt serious as it all happed too quick .. then i answered a yes.. on our second meet after a week or so he confessed there was a bet among his friends to get a yes frm me.. i donnot know how to react on this.. should i be happy that he made every thing clear ? But what if he is treating me well because he has to win another bet? He treats me really well .. but i am confused

hmm... this can be tricky shonali, due to your depression and psychological problems it would be best to avoid this kind of situation. most teenage relationships end badly, and even worse when depression and other emotional problems in play. but you are still young and should have a little fun and some adventures to a certain extent, my advice would be to only have him in the friend zone if possible, i know its hard keeping your feelings in check, but if you can focus a little more on yourself now it will benefit you a whole lot in the future. this also conflicts with the fact that you should go out and try new things, it helps us learn alot about life, ourselves and other people. just remember moderation, and this advice is only part of the solution. you should also get a couple more opinions from other people, and even though the guy is young and has a lot to learn what he did was wrong, and remember what i said about a lot to learn, this is true because he didnt consider what his actions could do to you and your feelings. so keep that in mind

@shonali Hi.

You must consider yourself lucky that he revealed all that to you. Imagine if you didn't know and thought the relationship is genuine. Ofc his friends noticed you liked him and that something could come out between the two of you. But the fact that they bet on you saying yes to him is bad. He could have asked out only because of the betting. I agree that you must put him in the friend zone. If they could bet on you saying yes what else are they gna bet on you for? Ever thought of it? Focus on school. You took two years off from school, best you make up for that and avoid the distractions as much as possible. Boys will always be boys, they do stupid things that's fun to them, but end up hurting the girl. I don't think you deserve a heartbreak it will only add on to your depression. Keep the friend and enjoy life. Much love, I hope you keep well.

hi! im cher! my concern is everytime i had a serious relationship it always end up a failed relationship i think i did my best as a partner but why is it always me were taken for granted? at first they will do everything to make me fall then they will just leave me alone and broken i cant understand is the problem is me maybe i dont know how to handle relatioship maybe im not good enough?

unfortunately cherthis happens alot, imsorry you had to go though that, more than once too. but know this your not alone, even ive experienced tbesame bshardships, and even doubted myself. but heres the thing i did, re evaluate the relationship, like when i got cheated i asked myself, did i ddothis, could i have stopped it? at first i thought i could but now since some time has passed, no i couldnt. because the pplwho hurt us cherwill always hurt us one way or another. im currently tryinto leave an abusive relationship where i thought i found the one apparently i was wrong. the fact is nice ppl tend to get taken for granted, but my advice to you is dontgive up, someday you will meet someone who will return your love and kindness and maybe even 10 fold, just dont lose faith cher. and good luck

@someone10 @chermocha

Well said! I agree. The most kind loving people are taken advantage of. I myself also come from a relationship I got hurt so bad, so many times in so many ways. Sitting here there's no way I could have stopped the person, it was not my fault, and it's the person's personality. I was always gna be hurt one way or the other. The best is to let go and wait on the right, deserving people. Never lose the hope and the faith, there's nothing wrong with us. We just need to be careful with our decisions and learn to be good judge of character.

Have a lovely day