@honeypie720
Hey there,
I think this is a great time for some self-reflecting. Being able to take a step back, identify the problem that we may have with outselves, and working toward changing that, takes a lot of strength and courage, and I think it's time for you to take these steps.
There is a difference between being too picky and just having high standards. I think it's amazing that you are so young, and yet know exactly what you want, what you deserve, and won't settle for anything less. Having standards just means that we won't let some random guy who is only looking for one thing slide into our DM's, because we know that is not what we are looking for and we deserve better. This is a great mentality to have, and I don't think you should lose that respect for yourself.
However, if a guy seems "nice and perfect," I think it's important to figure out what is making you not like him that way. It's also important to remember that not everyone is perfect and having too high or unrealistic expectations is possible. Not every guy you meet is going to be Prince Charming or be like the perfect guy in a Hallmark movie, so it's important to note that this is real life. Everyone has baggage, everyone is different, and everyone has troubles, even you. This shouldn't be a deal breaker. If he's a genuinely good guy, who has morals, and most importantly, seems to care and respect you for you, then there's no reason why you shouldn't give him a chance. If things don't work out, then that's okay. That's a part of life, and at least you can say you gave it a try so you don't live with the regret of what could've been.
I know you can't force feelings, but you can't fall in love with someone after just one conversation. Don't think there's something wrong with you or him if you aren't feeling those butterflies after the first date or phone call. Sometimes we just need to get to know someone a little more, or spend more time with them to see how we truly feel. If it has been more than 3 dates and still no spark, then it's probably time to move on because maybe he just wasn't the right match for you. And there may not always be a reason or explanation for this, but it's just a part of life that we have to ackowledge and be honest about to avoid really leading someone on and leaving them more hurt.
Basically, you seem like a great person who any guy would be lucky to have. I think you have to start to see your own self-worth and show the world that not anyone could have you. I think it's great to be attracted to personality over looks, but again, don't have such high expectations for the "perfect" personality, just like how others shouldn't be looking for the "perfect" face or body. I believe that if you try, going in with an OPEN mind, and really open your heart to anything and everything, you will find someone. But you are still young, so you have plenty of time to think about this. But don't be so focused on finding "the one." Live your life, enjoy your youth, and the right ones will come along. :)