Sickness

This is just for me, no comments please!

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I honestly feel sick from this whole experience. He loves me and the reason he doesn’t want to be with me is to avoid hurting me. How ironic is that? He’s turned into a worse version of himself, and it’s really sad to see. I’m upset because he won’t get help. I’m upset for a lot of reasons. I’m trying to heal. Maybe I’ll be able to now, idk. I just need to decide whether I want him in my life as a friend. Or if that’s just too much. I wish that it could be romantic again. But no…he’s become self centered and egotistical with very low self esteem. He’s…well, he’s like an evil version of his old self, actually. Why do I want that? I don’t know if I do. The only reason i would want to keep him as a friend is because I still think we might get together in the future. Maybe for now we’ll take a break and we can be friends after that. I hate to give myself false hope. But I have to trust my instincts. Maybe if I take myself away he’ll realize what he’s missing. That’s a huge risk. But I’m out of cards. Both options suck.

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This is just for me, no comments please!