Now that I'm single and looking again...
One thing I noticed in my last relationship that really made me unhappy, early on, was my boyfriends lack of interest in asking me questions about myself. Seems pretty normal when getting to know someone that you would ask the person questions about themself. Well, he did in the first month but then all of a sudden I guess he felt he knew all about me. Well, I know it was shocker when I broke up with him after a year. Yes,a year too long. But I have worked through all that and I'm feeling really good. So, now, thats one thing that I really need and I have said so on my dating profile. So, this new interest and I have been talking since yesterday, still very superficial and light. He just asked me to text him on his phone and I said I would because he said some really cute things blah blah blah. So, I responded and said
"Ok, I will do that. However, one of my big things right now is really feeling like someone genuinely wants to get to know me by actually asking questions and being interested in knowing the answers. Thats how you really connect with someone. Does that make sense? Is that what you are looking to do, really get to know someone?" Not sure if he was waiting for me to text him or what. He hasn't responded. That was about 30 minutes ago.
Let's see how entertaining this thread can get. haha!
If someone finds out something they didn't expect or hoped to not hear, it might make them stop asking because they're afraid to find out more and want to only know the positive things.
What my ex boyfriend did was stop asking the most simple basic questions like tell me about your day? Tell me about your hopes and dreams? What did you like about the movie? What did you like about the restaurant? What was your favorite part about going to that cute little town we visited? NOt even necessarily heavy stuff. We occassionally discussed politics and social justice issues which we were both on the same page about and had a lot in common in those areas. We had a lot in common in general. I was just no longer interesting to him.
It felt like that anyway. He no onger had the desire or maybe he just never really did engage me in conversation like I wanted him too. It just took a while to notice and then it made me feel bad that he didn't ask me more about myself and who I am as a person. He treated me very well in many areas but there just seemed to be something missing. Like I didn't feel like he really wanted to connect with me on a deeper level. So, things worked out best. For the future, I want to be with someone who wants to connect on a deep level, mutually.