Not sure what to do anymore
Ive been seeing this guy off and on for over a year. He suffers from ptsd due to traumatic incidents when he was a child. We have a rocky past, we "officially" dated for a few months and everything was fine, he was really nice and sweet and funny....then one night when i was at his place, my phone rang and it was an ex calling and he got really upset and angry and threatened to toss my phone off the 4th floor which i didnt care because its a phone. He called me a cheater and a liar, which i admit i have told him lies. We still hang out to this day, but it seems as if when we do, we both drink to the point of being somewhat tipsy and he will drink to rid himself of pain. The other night he told me to f#*! Off and asking why was i still at his place, im a horrible human being, i lack empathy.....but he still loves me. I'm not sure what to do anymore because now i feel like im being tugged in all places because when i told him hes not in love with me, he said he still was even though i hurt him constantly. Sorry for this being so long...i just feel like im stressing out over everything :(
@Morph2
Hey there! You aren't long in your story no need to say sorry.
What I am noticing is that he isn't feeling comfortable around you. He may find you more appealing when you are drinking as he doesn't have to deal with his true feelings but when he is awake he seems to be angry and unable to find his peace. He may just need more space than you are giving him. How much have you two talked about his PTSD and his needs at this moment?
Also, I would get angry if an ex called my boyfriend as well if he was at my place at the moment. He might have felt disrespect from your part and because he isn't dealing well with emotions he yelled and projected his anger onto you.
If you two don't find a way to talk sincerely about your needs (not just his, yours too -- because even if he has a sensitive moment right now you aren't his nurse but his partner, isn't it?) it may be impossible to continue with this relationship at this moment.
@cristiana33
We really havent talked much about his ptsd, i mean the very first time we even met...the first thing he told me was that and about what happened when he was a child.
I will say that i do look back at that night and he was in the right to get upset and now because of the character i made myself to be...he doesn't trust me, not even when i mention im talking to someone i went to high school with (it upsets him to hear me say i spoke with any male) because he thinks im going to cheat on him.
Lately, i hear that he doesnt deserve what i put him through....which he doesnt because he really is a great guy, he deserves better and ive told him that myself but he cuts me off and says that I need to look at what's in front of me and i need to fix my priorities.
I have days where i myself feel like i cant handle this anymore, but then i think about what went wrong.....
I dont live with my parents, i live with an older sister and when i decided to spend the night at his place, she called my mom the next morning who then said that only "easy" women stay over (that really killed everything for me). My mom doesnt like him. Last christmas i wanted him to meet my family & that didnt work out because out of respect he didnt want to stay in my parents house, but in a hotel and my parents werent having any of that, so we spent Christmas separated, i sometimes dont feel comfortable around him and am tense and just stressed which stresses and upsets him
