No more rope for this Cowboy

im 41 been married for 14 years my husband for he past six years has had a lipoma the size of a baseball on his neck, I've held this man down from jump and he won't even go to the doctor to get it removed,but constantly has made that the reason for not working , or being productive for himself and his family, we have three kids 13,12,11, he has 5 other kids which I've helped him and they have been the worst step kids I have encountered, I've worked while all my kids where babies and helped him be able to have his kids at our home. In return the now adult kids are very rude they don't address me, my husband has accused me of sleeping with two of his sons which all I'm trying to do is help. I have my own kids to do us on he allows his 19 years old son to not do shit smoke and sleep all day like his dad..duh..but I don't want this mlfor my kids he has turned controlling ,bitter and very argumentive I've tried to make it work but I'm at the end of my rope any tips before I throw in the towel? Unhappy wife life