My relationship to loneliness.

Hi. I am sincerely sorry for this. I posted this to Reddit as well, but after consideration, I think it would be more beneficial for me to post it here. Here it is copy and pasted:

"I've posted on this subreddit before, but I would like to provide some details about myself and how I perceive my own nature to be, because I feel the need to put my thoughts into context; if that is alright, please. So, I quite an introverted individual who is quiet nearly all of the time; it is being that quiet that seems quite natural to me, it is state of internal, emotional comfort, along with physical comfort to. There are other reasons beyond introversion that could explain this - including my recent Autism Spectrum Disorder diagnosis - but talking and conversing is an absolute struggle for me; I believe it is because of introverted nature that I simply do not enjoy or hold much interest in conversation.

Ugh, okay, I am sorry if that previous expression came across as horrifically blunt, it is not my intention to be directly mean or anything; I am just trying to communicate that conversation and talking aren't things that spark joy for me- it depresses and saddens me, because the ability to maintain a friendship (especially with peers) seems to sit on a foundation of being able to engage in regular conversation that holds a degree of excitement of whatever shape or form. As odd as it may be, this is even applicable to texting/messaging, my preferred form of communication, at least, when distance is involved - I feel as expectations are imposed upon me to be charismatic and exciteable in conversation, but it such a painful trial of fear and discomfort for me.

Please, I should clarify that I am not dismissing communication altogether; something I do enjoy is when I have an oppurtunity to be an empathetic listenter for somebody; listening has been something of a strength of mine for a while and it warms my heart when I can be of support to others by simply being a present and understanding listener. Otherwise, an ideal friendship to me would be someone that was comfortable with my regular silence- and it's not a creepy idleness, like, I am fascinated by the idea of spending time "alone, together", such as doing our own thing in proximity to each other, simply appreciative of each other's presence. Otherwise, I yearn to be able to quietly enjoy my interests with someone else- like, I used to have movie nights with friends from school and I sorely miss that- there wasn't an expectation for conversation, we were just sitting quietly, dowing processed calories, and enjoying a movie together.

Ok, I am so sorry, this will be the last "thought paragraph" I'd like to express, and then I'll be done rambling- I understand that I seek seems to imply a necessary level of intimacy with another individual. I think this idea of intimacy might discomfort me in terms of the physicality of it- like, I do have a personal bubble. I have been through cuddling before and I felt suffocated, trapped, and unable to break free- like, I think I do yearn for an emotional intimacy that allows for the comfort of silence and time spent "alone, together", but it's the physical component that is highly discomforting to me.

Okay, that's enough. I am so sorry again. Thank you for sticking with me."

Please, would it be too much, or rather creepy to ask me if I could PM or get PM'd by someone on this matter?