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hegilbert
1,746 M Hopeful Heart
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts69 Forum posts30 Forum upvotes36 Current upvotes36 Age GroupAdult Last activeApril, 2021 Member sinceMay 24, 2020
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I am feeling lonely.
Relationship Stress / by hegilbert
Last post
 November 23rd, 2020
...See more Hi. As the title indicates, I have been contending with quite a bit of lonelienss as of recent; I do not really have any platonic connections with people my age. I am immensley appreciative of my family and significant other, but I do not really have any friendships. I will explain further in the following paragraphs. To describe myself a little, I feel as my introverted personality trait is rather strong; I am a very quiet/silent individual, I rarely speak and this "state" of being quiet is something of internal, emotional, and even physical comfort. I was recently diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder, meaning that I do have my sensitivies and needs. I absolutely treasure my alone time as it I have my own space and time for my hobbies and interests. However, being a quiet, autistic individual has made it hard for me to be able to find and make a good friendship. It saddens me, because making friends with a lot of people my age nowadays appears so reliant on constant, tiring back-and-forth conversation that's energetic and charismatic. This discomforts me. To me, an ideal friendship is one that in which I can feel comfortable being my quiet self almost always. I yearn for the experience of being alone, together with somebody, doing our own things, but appreciative to have each other's presence. Please, am I in the wrong for this? Thank you.
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My relationship to loneliness.
Relationship Stress / by hegilbert
Last post
 November 13th, 2020
...See more Hi. I am sincerely sorry for this. I posted this to Reddit as well, but after consideration, I think it would be more beneficial for me to post it here. Here it is copy and pasted: "I've posted on this subreddit before, but I would like to provide some details about myself and how I perceive my own nature to be, because I feel the need to put my thoughts into context; if that is alright, please. So, I quite an introverted individual who is quiet nearly all of the time; it is being that quiet that seems quite natural to me, it is state of internal, emotional comfort, along with physical comfort to. There are other reasons beyond introversion that could explain this - including my recent Autism Spectrum Disorder diagnosis - but talking and conversing is an absolute struggle for me; I believe it is because of introverted nature that I simply do not enjoy or hold much interest in conversation. Ugh, okay, I am sorry if that previous expression came across as horrifically blunt, it is not my intention to be directly mean or anything; I am just trying to communicate that conversation and talking aren't things that spark joy for me- it depresses and saddens me, because the ability to maintain a friendship (especially with peers) seems to sit on a foundation of being able to engage in regular conversation that holds a degree of excitement of whatever shape or form. As odd as it may be, this is even applicable to texting/messaging, my preferred form of communication, at least, when distance is involved - I feel as expectations are imposed upon me to be charismatic and exciteable in conversation, but it such a painful trial of fear and discomfort for me. Please, I should clarify that I am not dismissing communication altogether; something I do enjoy is when I have an oppurtunity to be an empathetic listenter for somebody; listening has been something of a strength of mine for a while and it warms my heart when I can be of support to others by simply being a present and understanding listener. Otherwise, an ideal friendship to me would be someone that was comfortable with my regular silence- and it's not a creepy idleness, like, I am fascinated by the idea of spending time "alone, together", such as doing our own thing in proximity to each other, simply appreciative of each other's presence. Otherwise, I yearn to be able to quietly enjoy my interests with someone else- like, I used to have movie nights with friends from school and I sorely miss that- there wasn't an expectation for conversation, we were just sitting quietly, dowing processed calories, and enjoying a movie together. Ok, I am so sorry, this will be the last "thought paragraph" I'd like to express, and then I'll be done rambling- I understand that I seek seems to imply a necessary level of intimacy with another individual. I think this idea of intimacy might discomfort me in terms of the physicality of it- like, I do have a personal bubble. I have been through cuddling before and I felt suffocated, trapped, and unable to break free- like, I think I do yearn for an emotional intimacy that allows for the comfort of silence and time spent "alone, together", but it's the physical component that is highly discomforting to me. Okay, that's enough. I am so sorry again. Thank you for sticking with me." Please, would it be too much, or rather creepy to ask me if I could PM or get PM'd by someone on this matter?
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Getting over someome from my past...
Relationship Stress / by hegilbert
Last post
 August 21st, 2020
...See more Hi. Please, if it is, I would like to express some lingering thoughts that I have attempted to stifle about someone I used to have feelings for- I tend to have a bad habit of being really articulate, so please bare with me. These are thoughts I have attempted to stifle in hopes that they would get buried, but they keep surfacing and bulging. So, I figured I would process and express said thoughts. To put things into perspective, I am 19 years old now- These feelings started when I attended public school for the first time in my life in seventh grade. I have always been a quiet introvert who keeps to himself and likes doing his own thing, but I was particularly shy in school. This is likely to be expected, a regular thought that circulated in my head was the possibility of dating somebody. Then, there was a girl that came up and spoke to me (what she said would involve me going off in a tangent that requires an energy for explanation that I do not possess); the manner in which she approached - I am so sorry, this is incredulously blunt - appealed to me on a "sexual" level. She stood kind of close to ne and paid me direct attention- it made me a little uncomfortable, but comforted at the same time. We had multiple interactions throughout seventh grade- just being around her caused me to feel like jelly. In the summer following, we became Facebook friends and I messaged her. ...Continued in replies...
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Could I ask for someone to PM, please?
Anxiety Support / by hegilbert
Last post
 August 17th, 2020
...See more Hi. I am so sorry- I understand if this is not allowed. Please, right now, I would rather find someone to share and vent about my anxiety with- I hope this isn't too much to ask for. The Listener pairing has not been helpful for me. My anxiety is related to work and the related circumstances in my life. I am a young adult. Thank you.
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Looking for a Long-Term Listener, please
General Support / by hegilbert
Last post
 August 14th, 2020
...See more Hi. My name is Hudson. I am a 19 year old male. I am struggling with some rather signficiant anxiety and depression right now as a result of work, the upcoming school year, and other circusmtances. I am also contendending with a situation of uncertainty, as I and some people close to me suspect that I may have autism. I took an assessment once with a psychologist and the results were deemed uncertain, so I am desperately searching around to obtain another assessment in which I may hopefully get more certain results. I am signing up to receive official therapy, but I feel as if I might benefit from getting support here too when therapy may not be an option given the possibility of scheduling conflicts or other circumstances. I would like a long-term listener, because I feel like I have been spreading myself thin across multiple users, telling too many on the internet about my issues, simply venting in short bursts which is leading me nowhere productive-- Okay, yes, the venting is beneficial and I am immensley grateful for the listeners I have contacted for their help, but my mental health has gotten bad to the point that is now vital for me to work on something long-term. It might benefit more to work on something developemental with a single individual. Please, I hope this isn't too much to ask for. Thank you.
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Mindfulness activities?
Mindfulness Center / by hegilbert
Last post
 November 29th, 2020
...See more Hi. My name is Hudson and I am 19 years old. I am writing to ask if anyone could please provide me with information regarding mindful activities? I am ultimatley seeking alternatives for meditation for the time being... I just such a significant difficulty with idleness, sitting still without something to focus my brain on leaves me feeling detached into a whirpool of anxious noise. I understand that part of the learning curve to achieve meditation involves bearing with the idleness and accepting it. However, I feel like a necessary step to achieve before I get to such a point would be to find more active mindful excercises. I should clarify; by active, I do not mean elaborate exercises specifically (albeit that would be very much appreciated too, please), but just simply something that involves doing. It is in such physical movement that promotes a more comfortable sense of internal movement within my mind. I apologize, I hope that what I am asking for is making sense. Please, if it is not too much to ask for, I would be so appreciative if I could advice on mindfulness activities. Thank you.
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Workplace Anxiety
Anxiety Support / by hegilbert
Last post
 July 5th, 2020
...See more Hi. My name is Hudson and I am a 19 year-old working a job as a sales associate in retail. I would like to express some anxiety I am experiencing with work. In the following, I will describe what exactly causes this anxiety and how it makes me feel. A major aspect of my anxiety is my social anxiety, combining it with my introverted personality makes social interactions freightening and of great duress. This is hard with the regular onslaught of customers as each interaction forces me to expend energy and fear coming off as mean. A state of emotional comfort for me is being quiet and rather neutral in expression as such expression exhausts me. I tend to get anxious of overstimulating situations as it will lead to a very discomforting feeling of being overwhelmed. This occurs when there is so much going on at work all at once, such as trying to meet customers' demands whilst also having to rush for help with cashier functions that I can't perform yet. It's the fast-pace and urgency that makes me feel unsettled. It is for the reasons above that I am regularly frightened to go to work. I have explained to my manager that I have anxiety... Still, there are times in which she has gotten short with me and unfortunately, my shift today is going to be twice as long as I was originally scheduled for. Please, I would so appreicate some support if it is not too much to ask for. Thank you.
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