Lifelong Friendship Coming to an End?

Firstly, I’m so sorry this post got as long as it did.

My lifelong best friend just visited me for 4 days, they live in a different country and it’s hard for us to see each other. Especially through the pandemic. We haven’t seen each other in 2+ years until now. They just left yesterday after a 4 day visit and after I dropped them off at the airport I sat in my living room for 4 hours just completely exhausted and astounded at how the trip went.. They constantly belittled me, told stories from our childhood that I have no recollection of, or question if that’s how things really happened. Lots in particular where I was somehow a terrible person. And in one of those stories, apparently I was forcing them to drink water out of a filtered pitcher instead of tap water.. all I can remember is offering them filtered water instead of tap, not forcing them? Was I a bad person for offering things that still make sense to me today to offer a guest? It was weird little stuff like that where I’d never think twice on it. I’ve never been a demanding person in any sense, so it really confuses me when I’m portrayed as a controlling or demanding person in childhood stories, and it makes me feel terrible. My friend has always exaggerated in their stories but, man it just leaves me so speechless when it seems like fake stories are told that particularly exaggerate a totally random but demeaning aspect for the sake of entertainment.

Through all of the four days they were here, I got totally and completely caught up in their life. They told me absolutely every detail, like how they are finally figuring things out, what their friends are up to, their family relationships, their upcoming career, etc. But through all 4 days of their visit, they never once asked about me. No how am I, what my job is like, why I’m pursuing graduate school, nothing. I picked them up in a newer car they had never seen, I hosted them in my home where I have belongings and an environment I have been working very hard to build, yet not a single comment or question. Whenever I began to catch them up on my life they became completely bored and somehow circled the conversation back to their life.

They recently changed their pronouns to they/them and I kept slipping on their past gender pronoun. I felt terrible, I apologized towards the end and acknowledge how bad I felt about accidentally putting them in that position by slipping up. They said they didn’t mind and completely understood, but after 4 days of constant judgement towards me, belittling me, and gaslighting me, I think they were offended.

I don’t know. I’ve always felt mild belittling in the friendship but this was really bad. Almost anything completely random that I said was made fun of or belittled. I’m still in shock, my self esteem is feeling low, and I’m not sure they actually care about me at all. I felt like an obligational visit and that feels awful. I mean I’m sitting here on Google articles that explain how to cope with belittling and gaslighting. I was left feeling completely awful and feeling like the best thing I can do is step away from this friendship and hope it finds its path again a few years down the line when my friend finally figures their personal issues out.

Thanks for letting me share my feelings, I feel terribly sad that someone I have know from childhood to adulthood, someone I got tattoos with, someone I trusted with my life, could mistreat me so much in such a short span of time.