Just in case

DISCLAIMER: this post is just for me. No comments please! I just want to use this space to vent and I don’t wish for feedback of any kind, positive or negative. Thank you!

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I haven’t written on here for a very long time. I’ve successfully distanced myself from my ex, and it was actually my choice, because there was no other choice for me. I picked up the pieces of myself and let him know that this was too difficult. He became uncaring toward my emotions. He started caring only after I had a crying spell and he saw what his words were doing. Since then, he’s texted me to say merry Christmas. We had a tiny conversation. Then there was one more very small one in January. But they ended quickly because he knew that I needed more time. Now as June is approaching I keep wondering what I’d even say if he contacted me. If he said that he wants me back. What would I say? I keep doing these tarot readings and they say he’s going to reach out, apologize and offer something like a relationship. I’m not expecting that though. I do plan to text him to say happy birthday later next month. I guess…it’s probably silly to imagine him coming back. Maybe it’s weird that I’m thinking of how I’d respond. But as I try to keep myself protected, I have to think about it.

I don’t expect anyone to ever understand this, especially after what he’s done, but he is my soulmate. I’ve always known. Ever since we became close. The thing is, he needs to become trustworthy again somehow, and I don’t know how. I don’t trust him. But I love him anyway.

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tbc probably. I’m super tired so I have to go sleep.

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DISCLAIMER: this post is just for me. No comments please! I just want to use this space to vent and I don’t wish for feedback of any kind, positive or negative. Thank you!