Is this a form of abuse?
My husband has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and when he starts in his manic phase he becomes someone I don't want to know especially when he drinks excessively.
The other morning I was making a cup of coffee and he was so angry, he got up to yell at me for 15 minutes because I was making too much noise. He said that he can hear me stir my coffee and how selfish I am for not being considerate. That following night, I went to bed and he wouldn't let me sleep the entire night. He would turn the TV on very loud, slam doors, force me out of bed, turn lights on, yell at me, etc….
After a couple of days he was back to the man I married. In a way, I’m scared to make any noise because of what I went thru and don’t like being yelled at. I don’t like the way I feel at all
Is this a form of abuse? Can I ask him to speak to his medical dr to modify his meds? I’m really at a loss right now.
@koyaanisqatse8
it is hard especially when drinking is involved ... honestly people who are having issues sometimes are very selfish. i would suggest you speak to him in his "normal " state and explain how you feel ....
try to show the same applies if you are sleeping etc.
my spouse especially when he is in a mood does selfish rude things and when i called him out on why is it OK for him but if floor creaks beneath me i am trying to wake him up. Once he was awre of double standard he at least tries harder.
The drinking becomes extreme when he gets this way. I’ve found 6 empty bottles of wine consumed during the day. He obviously blacks out and really doesn’t remember the cruel things he does or says.
I’m sorry you experience the same. I continually have to remind myself to self care and stay on my side of the road. There is literally nothing I can do until he wants to make that change on his own. In the meantime, I have to overcome the horrible things on my own. It’s unfair & I don’t ever want to talk to family or close friends about this.
I’m sure you have suffered in silence too. So happy to find this site.
@koyaanisqatse8 Is it a form of abuse? Yes, it seems like that to me. Can you ask him about modifying his meds? Yes, that seems reasonable to me.
I suppose the next questions might be what happens if he refuses, or if meds don't solve the problem. I hope you can turn things around before they get to that stage.
Koyaanisqatsi—I remember that strange movie with the haunting music. Is that where you user name comes from?
Charlie
Hi Rarely Charlie,
It is from that movie! Unfortunately that movie still rings true to this day. Thank you for the advice. I will approach him this evening in a calm manner so he doesn’t get defensive.
it’s just hard because when he becomes manic, I don’t think he realizes it at the time. Sometimes he does apologize to me when something extreme happens.
Just this morning, he found me sleeping on the couch and asked if I left the bedroom because of his snoring and then told me to wake him up so he can go into the other room the next time it. I told him there was no way I was going to do that.
