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I regret returning our engagement ring

peacefulReeds7160 October 22nd, 2020

I found my soulmate. He proposed after 3 years, and we have been engaged for a year. But 3 months before our wedding, we were arguing over something extremely shallow - the wedding date. He was stressed with work cause of covid his business is in trouble. And i was stressed out with work, im a doctor l, covid hit us tough. We had a really heated discussion one day. I got upset with some things he said (they involved financial things). So i told him to take his ring and go. For a moment I saw it as a big rock and forgot the love it symbolized. He got really hurt. I said sorry later. I didnt mean it as I dont want him in my life. I was was silly and emotional. But he said he cannot go forward with the relationship anymore. He said I had broken everything he built i our relationship.

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November 14th, 2020

@peacefulReeds7160

I am so sorry, I know that had to hurt you deeply. Sometimes things like this happen in the heat of an argument. It is not your fault that he was unable to let it go and move forward in the relationship. Knowing early how a person reacts to certain things may be a blessing in disguise. Which does not make the pain any less.

I hope you get to feeling better. I hope that the perfect person will walk into your life to make you forget what could have been to the glory of the one that finds you soon and wipes the bad memories away.

May you have Love, May you have Light, May you enjoy Good Healthheart

6 replies
peacefulReeds7160 OP November 19th, 2020

@scarletPear1945 thank you for your time, thoughts and sympathy. Really appreciate it. Its complicated to talk to acquaintances sometimes and it really helps to be able to talk and listen to strangers. Sometimes, i think my biggest enemy is myself. I put myself in this situation. I actually apologized to him for breaking up with me because im not good enough for him. He didnt say sorry at all to me. Just told me i will be fine cause i have my work. The truth is at the start of our relationship i gave up a life changing opportunity just to be with him. I cant take take that back now. I cant believe i apologized to him when he was the one breaking up with me. Im so mad at myself cause i think i just gave and gave to him and left nothing for myself. And at the end, he walked away and said this is "fine" for me. Im disappointed with myself, how did i put myself in this situation where i gave up so much for a guy, he broke up with me and I said sorry for it all. At the end, I have no one to blame but myself. 😖 its so simple and obvious and even stupid in fact.

5 replies
nordurnStar November 19th, 2020

@peacefulReeds7160

I know this feeling--thinking about how stupid I was for falling into a situation I would see through in a second if another girl were telling me about her spouse. I'm not really over that feeling yet, feeling so stupid, but I can't imagine it's helping me. There are societal forces at work here. The socialization of feminine bodies means we are prone to being in belittling or harmful positions in relationships with men, and also being blamed for being there.

I gave up a lot too, in my circumstance, that I wish I hadn't. It helps me a little to think of everything all the other women in the world around me have given up.

2 replies
peacefulReeds7160 OP November 19th, 2020

@nordurnStar yeah 😞 nothing bad with giving, we were always taught its better to give than to receive. But sometimes it just sucks that the other person doesnt even acknowledge it, specially when it is a big sacrifice and it took a lot to be able to make that sacrifice 😖

November 19th, 2020

@nordurnStar

So sorry, healingheart does take time

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November 19th, 2020

@peacefulReeds7160

Thank you for your response, I know that you are hurt and kind of in a state of shock about this break-up. You are being too hard on yourself. We all have made mistakes. I do realize that Matters of the Heart fall into a whole different category. Your heart is broken. Our Hearts are our source of Life. Women are given a great capacity to love. That is why we can bear children. We have tender hearts. It is not your fault that you gave all and more then you had to give. One sided relationship just doesn't work. When the give and take is lopsided someone will soon burnout or begin to feel overwhelmed with trying to carry the relationship. I don't want to sound crude, but it was better to have this happen now, rather than later. You deserve better. You are and will be a treasure to someone. So, take your time and allow healing to take place. Get you a tablet and begin to think and writ down areas that you recognize. That could have been red flags in the ways you responded or thing you did and please be kind to yourself as you begin to find things you could have done or that you have not done. Use this as a guild of caution with the next gentleman.

We are all DIAMONDS IN THE ROUGH being refined by life's journey. Healing takes time just like having operation heart

1 reply
peacefulReeds7160 OP November 20th, 2020

@scarletPear1945 Thank you for your kind words. Even if we dont know each other, you have made a positive impact in my life. 🙂

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