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I'm Sad And Lonely

quickwittedSea7577 July 28th, 2017

Hi Everybody,

I need some help. I'm sad and lonely. I haven't had a date in over two years. This past week, I re-developed feelings for a girl who treated me pretty poorly a few months ago. I had pretty much moved on, but feelings happened. And there is another girl I've been trying to ask out for over a month, I just haven't had an opportunity. And she ignores my texts more frequently than she responds. I tend to develop feelings for anygirl I find remotely attractive who is nice to me and is nice to talk to. I really suck with relationships. I just want to be in a relationship with someone. I want to find love. I'm not trying to find anything physical. It would be nice, but it's not what I'm seeking. I just want to be in a nice supportive relationship and do cute couple things. I just want to hold her hand and tell her how pretty she is. Any advice on any of this? I'd really appreciate it.

Thanks Everybody.

9
Athilahbliss34 July 28th, 2017

@quickwittedSea7577

Why dont you tried to control your feelings ?? I mean I think you didn't love them but you just like them actually.. Maybe you should be friends with them.. And you could find person that you truly love in many of them? You just feel like you don't wanna be lonely actually.. You didn't love them.. But tried to find the girl that you want and love :-) don't give up.. There is your true love out there that awaiting for you ^^

3 replies
quickwittedSea7577 OP July 28th, 2017

@Athilahbliss34

I've tried controlling my feelings. But I haven't been able to. Any advice?

2 replies
Athilahbliss34 July 28th, 2017

@quickwittedSea7577

Maybe you could set your mind that they are just your friends?

1 reply
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freshLight64 July 28th, 2017

@quickwittedSea7577

Hey there, hopefully things are doing well, theres a few things I would like to point;

I need some help. I'm sad and lonely. I haven't had a date in over two years. (You got to be careful here, I'm starting to feel you have some unmet needs from your past that you might want them to be met with someone, also there's a chance that your happiness and well being will revolve around meeting someone or a relationships, theres also a chance you might want to be with someone to feel lonely, so its very important to work on this before dating and relationships). This past week, I re-developed feelings for a girl who treated me pretty poorly a few months ago. I had pretty much moved on, but feelings happened. (I don't think this was possible, correct me if im wrong, but you thought of her in a sense of reducing the loneliness part, even though she was awful to you). And there is another girl I've been trying to ask out for over a month, I just haven't had an opportunity. (When it comes to asking a girl out, you should do it when you first met her or after a few days of meeting her because then she will put you in friendzone and will believe that you are not interested if you wait too long. You also got to see how she is with you, around you and if she shows interest you). And she ignores my texts more frequently than she responds. (This tells me you are getting anxious, so it makes you send her messages while she doesn't respond at times, its best to wait for a respond when you message her. You are messaging her often because you feel like you might never hear from her and that she might abandon you if you don't text her. The thing is that you are turning her off when she ignores your messages then you message her again, you shouldn't pursue her anymore). I tend to develop feelings for anygirl I find remotely attractive who is nice to me and is nice to talk to.(This is what I was talking about, unmet needs, so it'll easily make you feel attraction for anyone who is nice and shows attention to you, so more than likely it might make you ignore their red flags aslong as your needs are met and not feeling lonely. It's important to be aware of this). I really suck with relationships. (This is not true, you probably didn't grow up seeing how healthy and loving a relationships are so you don't have something to emulate). I just want to be in a relationship with someone. I want to find love. I'm not trying to find anything physical. It would be nice, but it's not what I'm seeking. (The thing is that if you enter a relationship then theres a chance you might get certain triggers from the past that might affect the relationship, I do understand why you would want a relationship, but if you are not happy being single, then enter a relationship it'll only make you feel happy for a bit then after a bit it'll make you feel unhappy once more no matter how great your partner might be. I'm sure one day you'll find someone, but its important to become aware of certain issues from the past). I just want to be in a nice supportive relationship and do cute couple things. I just want to hold her hand and tell her how pretty she is. (I could see that you want something special and romantic with someone, Im sure that some day someone will appreciate this) Any advice on any of this? I'd really appreciate it.

KSWQueen July 28th, 2017

@quickwittedSea7577 I'm so sorry you feel this way, I actually feel pretty similarly. I haven't been on a date ever, and I do tend to re-develop feelings for the guy who doesn't exactly treat me the way I feel I deserve, and I definitely do develop some sort of feelings for guys who are nice to me and start to overthink. I don't think I'd be the best person to give you advice, but what I'm trying my best right now is to tell myself that I deserve someone who treats me right, and like you said, someone who is supportive. Just someone who can make me a better me. I'm just trying my hardest to not overthink everything, and just put my mind into doing other things and I guess, just wait for the universe to do its thing and let love find me and to stop chasing it. I'm not sure if what I said would be helpful, but I hope that it was at least a bit of help, or at least you know you aren't alone. But all the best, you deserve someone amazing! 🙆🏻

2 replies
razelinedaz July 31st, 2017

@KSWQueen

Love will find you and come unexpectedly! Be ready for it: start with loving yourself, take yourself on dates, take care of your body (eat healthy, clean, do sports, yoga), of your mind (read, watch movies, learn) and heart (practice kindness on you and others, be patient, open and accepting, do meditation).

1 reply
KSWQueen August 1st, 2017

@razelinedaz aw thank you! I'm telling myself that too, and just focus on me instead of trying to chase love yknow. And yes, all that you've mentioned is great advice, and I'm working on most of them - loving myself, taking care of my mind and heart and body - wanna try the dating thing, but not really sure where to start, but yes. Working on myself definitely comes first :)

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