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I feel Lost

helpfulCoconut1524 April 1st, 2021

I might say that I had some complicated relationships, that make want to take a break from dating. Last year, I decided to put myself out there, however I just keep on being ghosted. Last time, it was some days ago. I had been speaking to this person for almost 3 weeks and it seem like she was into me but then silence. I feel like maybe I am the problem or something is wrong with me. I don't really know what to so anymore.

2
InquireWithin April 1st, 2021

@helpfulCoconut1524

I'm sorry. I'm going to assume that you are referring to online/Internet dating. Online relationships are sometimes very ephemeral, fleeting, or insincere. Ghosting is very much a thing in these places. I have learned not to take it personally or as a reflection of me, or anything I did/didn't do or say. Much of the time, the other person is just bored and playing around. Sometimes they're sincere and real, but then life off-line happens and they get busy, and we're left to wonder what's going on on the other end of things. It's easy to imagine that we drove them off or bored them to death. Most of the time it has very little to do with us, and very often, it's more about *them.*

Remember, also, that chemistry online doesn't always translate well into real life. Someone who's very entertaining or fun online, who seems really "into me," could prove to be otherwise if/when I meet them.

It's OK to engage in online dating, or dating in person, as long as you recognize it for what it is: trying to get to know imperfect human beings, and having imperfect interactions with them, and sometimes finding yourself bruised emotionally by these imperfect people and situations. Imperfect people become self-conscious about being sincere with you, and then chicken out and ghost you, because THEY'RE afraid that YOU won't like the reality of THEM!

Doesn't make the bruising any less painful, but does put it into perspective!

1 reply
helpfulCoconut1524 OP April 1st, 2021

Thank you for helping me seeing things in a different perspective! I really appreciate the help and the kind words.

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