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How to make a friend.
KayLikesTea May 11th, 2022
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When I was younger I lacked identity. I had no real idea of who I was. And on top of that, I was a brilliant actor. A liar even. I was loud, obnoxious, and manipulative. It was pretty ugly, and I regret ever second of it. I was good at copying everyone else's personality so that they would like me. I had many "friends" but I was close to nobody. I had lots of attention, but was still so lonely. I was a fake. An imposter.


Years pass, and I have begun to find myself. I am a much different person now. And have become much more wise. But I regret the past because I sabotaged myself, I sabotaged any chance of long lasting friendships. And although many people know I have changed and like me as I am, I still can't quite make real friendships. I'm still lonely. I'm afraid I'll fall back into the imposter I was. Opening up has never been easy. And I can't quite find the right people.


I'm not looking for anything to extreme. I just want people I can share quality time with. Go to the park, watch a movie, bake a cake, make art with, share favorite books and food with. I just want friends. And I know that to make friends I need to be a friend back, and I'm giving it my all. I just need someone to give me a chance. Where should I start?

2
Apriltulip May 13th, 2022
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@KayLikesTeaI'm sorry to hear that upon reflection you have a lot of negative feelings towards your youth and that you felt like an impostor.

I am glad though that you have started to find yourself, that is no easy feat and neither is opening up to others. it is great that you are willing to put yourself in that vulnerable position and it is a great step forward.

It is normal to want people to be close to and share quality time with. There are definitely people out there who are willing to give you a chance.

To answer your question about where to start, you are the expert in your own life. You might want to reflect on where you would like to meet people and what you would like to connect with people on and that might help give you an indication of where to start 😊

Wishing you well and much luck

ordziw May 18th, 2022
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@KayLikesTea

I knew someone just like you in high school. I felt sorry for him and even talked with him about it, but it didn't seem to help. No worries. The past is the past. It sounds like you've done a lot of growing and are ready to move on.

Make friends by just doing things together. Do a Bob Ross painting class. Take cooking classes at your nearest YMCA or whatever. You say you "act" but I want to let you in on a secret: we all "act" a little bit around everyone. That's called demeanor. Our natures come out slowly as we build trust with each other, and that means being vulnerable. Be willing to be a little vulnerable. You like to "act" so try this act: be the "man of few words" type and really listen to others and think before you speak. Build empathy, ask real questions, and consider things about yourself that you'd be willing to share.

Good luck,

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