Heavy guilt feeling

Hello,

I have this best guy friend Bram. We know each other for like 2 years now. At the same moment, I had 2 other best friends Lisa and Jayden. They were amazing but they didn't like my best friend Bram. At one moment they said to me why are you hanging out with that loser. I said, actually I don't like him that much hes weird. I didn't mean those words about him but I just didn't want to lose Lisa and Jayden. One day I had a fight with Lisa and Jayden. So I started to talk a lot to Bram and at one moment he said to me wow what?!!?? you are so fake. I didn't understand where that came from that reaction so I ask what did I do?.

So what Lisa did she sent screenshots about all those bad things I said about Bram. I was broken about it I didn't mean those words I said. Bram was really broken to and I had the biggest quilt feeling on earth. I cried so hard I couldn't believe that I hurt my best friend so hard.

After a a lot of apologizing he forgive me. But every day I still dont forgive myself. And I don't know how that feeling can go ever away.