Have I Lost My Brother Forever?
My brother is angry and paranoid and I am at a loss. It is a complicated story, but in essence, he was working for my husband and my husband fired him. There were many reasons why, all of which were legitimate, but it wasn't handled well by my husband, and my brother now blames me and my husband, and anyone else who defends us. My brother's wife screamed at my mother for leading such a horrible family and left her sobbing on the telephone. When I confronted my brother about that, he made excuses for his wife but never apologized. This is not the first time my sister-in-law has lashed out at our family, but in the past my brother has apologized for her. Not this time. In his last rant, he yelled at my sister and then texted me and my mother with angry texts and ended it with "I have no family." It has been four months since he was fired, and he is as angry as Day 1. I tried to help him (advised him on how to get his job back, but he didn't do it; loaned him money; husband offered recommendation letters) but he doesn't want to do anything to try and get past it. I am so sad for our family because we used to be very close, and now I don't know how (or if) I can help heal the wounds. My husband says it is up to him to reach out, which is probably true, but if that's the case, how do I move on? I think about it all the time and it is weighing me down with depression. I cry all the time about it. I miss my brother.
@purpleWest8187,
have you ever said to your brother, face to face, in private, that you miss him?
Never employ family, never rent to family.. you did..
Cut him off , see if he has the intelligence to come crying back. If not , do nothing...
@purpleWest8187
Hey, I'm really sorry that you had to go through all of that.
I can understand how difficult it must be to be stuck between being there for your brother but also trying to think straight about the situation. You must know that you've done your best to be there for him and help him in every shape or form you could. I hope you aren't blaming yourself that you couldn't do enough or feeling that you could've done better because if that's the case you should stop and forgive yourself - you did the best you could. I can understand that your brother wasn't welcoming of the situation and took matters personally and got offended by it. Which in turn had collateral damage. It must have been a very rough time for you to go through that. Just know that his actions have nothing to do with you but more to do with his own shortcomings, it's easier in certain times to blame someone else and pass on the burden to other people. I know your brother is very important to you, but he is responsible for his own actions and results. I'm sorry you've been through it, I hope it get better for you.