Finally ready to move on or so i thought
After my 6yr relationship i decided to just be by myself. Itll be 2yrs in August. I briefly dated someone but decided i wasnt ready. Besides he had a lot of issues. So now ive met someone who i think im ready to move on with. But some words/actions have triggered me and made me shut down. Most recently he told me he offered his spare rm to a female coworker. She already accepted it b4 he even told me. It shut me down like all i went thru with the ex. Maybe im just not ready? Or are these the red flags i think they are? Now im questioning if i should stick around or end it now? My last relationship really messed me up. Advice?
My advice would be to try and talk to him about it and let him know that what he did upset you. I would also be mad if the person I was in a relationship with offered to let a girl live with him. Especially without asking you first, that is even worse. I might could understand if the girl was your friend but it seems like you don't even know her. If you haven't already, I would say to talk to him about it and tell him you are not comfortable with his decision and see what he says. I don't think you have to decide if you wanna break up with him yet or not. If he doesn't listen to you or doesn't respect the fact you are uncomfortable with a girl living with him, then he might not be worth your time. <3
@Melloncollie1985
Hi,
If it really bothers you i would suggest you talk to him calmly and express your feelings to him and talk it trough.
@Melloncollie1985 honestly I think that shutting down is a fair response to that considering your last relationship and what you have been through. Healing is a process - please remember that even though it's been 2 years of being on your own there will still be issues with any partner and it is fair that after what you have been through, that you feel this way and want to shy away from it all. I think that building a trust and a bond with someone will be hard at times but I can appreciate how strong you are for getting this far. I am sure it would be beneficial to communicate with your partner and express how you feel, but the fact that she has already accepted has kind of put you in a position to make a decision about whether or not you can trust him. You know what you are willing to put up with and after all, you have been doing your own thing for two years - at this point if it's not better than being alone, I think you should think about if it's worth the stress and worth working past with your partner or if you would be happier on your own. It's a tough thing to build after you have been hurt, but you have the strength to work past it. I am proud of you for taking time to yourself and I am glad you feel ready to be in a relationship. Don't be too hard on yourself. Feel free to message me directly if you would like to chat more. Take care. xo
