Feeling un needed
Hello everyone, so in the beginning of our relationship I begged my boyfriend to find at least on person to go to for emotional support besides me. I think it’s extremely important, especially for men to have a deep connection with another man for support in things I can’t always help him with or for if one day I’m not there he would have someone to open up to and wouldn’t shut himself off to the world again and go back to suppressing his feelings. Well now he has this wonderful friendship with a group of men he plays games with. A group of men he can be open with and share deep emotional connections with and now even though I know it’s selfish of me, I can’t help but to be jealous. I feel like he no longer needs me, I see how happy he is when he’s talking to his friends and I doubt that I make him that happy. He doesn’t do anything at all to make me feel this way, it’s just my bully of a brain making me feel like this. I understand it’s healthy and important to have friendships outside of a relationship but I can’t help but feel left out. Even though his friends are as much my friends as his I can’t help but feel like they’re only my friend because they support him. Mind you this is the first real relationship I’ve ever been in, I even gave him my virginity (Tmi I know) is this all normal like I’ve been told or have I gone mad?
@MissSaint21
You're kind and wise to encouraged him to have a healthy social life ♡
I get what you meant that even that you know it's healthy and you're happy for him, you feel jealous too. And that's normal I suppose 😊 means you care and you have fear that has created jealousy... what's the fear?
Perhaps by stating the fear it helps make you detach from the fear and find another point of view to see the situation ♡ all the best!
Hello, thank you for responding and the encouragement! As silly as it sounds I’m afraid that he will be happier hanging with his friends versus spending time with me. They always have so much fun laughing and playing games and so do me and him but I guess it’s just my insecurities getting to me. That I’m not enough. But thanks again! Best regards to you as well!
@MissSaint21
Understand *hugs* your fear is valid and I think this fear happens to a lot of people both men and women 😊
We catastrophize a situation and make ourselves feel bad. Sometimes changing our thinking patterns can help de-catastrophize it. What do you think? ♡
I think you’re absolutely right, I’ve been trying to work on changing my thinking patterns but the bad days make it seem impossible. Though I realize it’s not going to change over night and that it takes patience and persistence.
@MissSaint21
Yeah true, it takes time and practice ♡ all the best for you! 😊
