Emotionally confused
Hello. Thank you for taking the time to stop & read about my emotions. I'll just jump right into it. I have been with my boyfriend for 8 years now in March. We have 3 boys my stepson & my 2 boys. 4 years into our relationship he confessed to sleeping with another woman. I had a feeling when I was pregnant of our first child. He says it only happened 1 time but I don't believe it. I stayed but then i cheated on him we weren't in a good place.. a few months after I saw a flirty text to another girl & I left got an apartment & even a boyfriend (which I regret) because I did it out of spite.. well we got back together 3 months after,, I moved back in & well I just dont think this is going to work.. I find myself now realizing that I can't forgive him or trust him. I hate that I did things just for revenge. I tell him we shouldn't stay together but he says I'm giving up too easy. We have a 14 year age gap & sometimes I think I should listen to him because he's older but I also think my mental heath is going down the drain because I'm not truly happy.... I don't have friends I can talk to anymore because I shut people out of my life. I don't know if this is what life is supposed to be ? Is this what marriage is? We aren't married because he says hes been married before & it's also better financially not to married I have diamonds rings he calls just because rings..... anyways I'm lost and confused & I want to know what others think....
@practicalBranch1544
Hi! I am sorry to hear that you are experiencing all of this. I definitely don't think that this is what marriage or a long-term relationship is supposed to be at all. I do think that couples are going to have problems, but I don't think being unhappy for this long is good for your mental health. It seems like he has the desire to try and work things out, which is good but both of you have to have that desire. Do you want to work things out? Maybe couples counseling could be helpful to get a different perspective. I hope this helps and good luck!
Hello,
first, thank you for trusting this community to share your story. You are brave & your feelings matter.
next, I’m sorry you have been through this and I truly hope this community can help you through it.
if you feel in your heart, that staying with him is not mentally good for you, so not feel the urge to stay. Figuring out plans around your son seeing both of you can be done. You cannot get these days back.
you have to do what you need to do to be happy, for yourself and for your son.
this is not what marriage is.
marriage is built on trust, love, caring, and happiness. Marriage is hard work and building the trust and happiness.
i think you deserve to be happy & loved & to be with someone who you can trust.
