Committed but still in love with ex?
Committed into a new relation but its said broken heart never really heals.. Its it true?
@gentleWings22 What do you feel is true about broken hearts? Does being in a committed relationship feel like it's where you want to be right now? I'm curious to know more of your thoughts on this.
@CompassionateGirl90 it went this way that I was into a relation with my ex for an year and she ditched me for another guy.. Now im committed to a girl for 7 years.. My ex was my first love, a tender love at tender age! Still whenever I see her feeds my heart misses a beat, its stops for a second.. Flashback .. To the golden olden days.. I cherish the time spent with her.. Then its all over Cz m over it.. My present girl loves me more then my ex did.. But its just that im not ready/ able to accept her 100% love cz of a negative experience in the past with LOVE.. I love her truly.. But still my ex bothers me for a second when I see her photo..
Its truly said ' broken heart never really heals.. '
@gentleWings22 Do you feel like you should only love one person that way? A lot of people go into relationships while they still love another. Doesn't mean they don't love their partner, too. In many ways, commitment is a choice. It is a choice to be with your significant other and show up for them every day, and be in your heart for them, despite how you may feel inside. Feelings aren't always a choice. How we handle them can be a choice.
@CompassionateGirl90 love is a bird it can fly anytime! I fell in love many a times but that doesn't mean it was love always.. It was attraction, i feel...
@CompassionateGirl90 have you been in love ever? I'm eager to know your story
@gentleWings22 So true. I say let it fly freely! :)
I've known someone for over a decade and just realized two years ago that I'm in love with him. It has been an awakening experience for me. We're good friends, and he knows I love him. He's my muse for my writing and much of the other work I do. This love is definitely not how I pictured it unfolding for me a few years ago, but overall, I'm happy in the experience. Thank you for asking! Love this thread, very thought-provoking.
@CompassionateGirl90 it feel happy for you! God bless you both with a passionate loving life.. As you said let it go free.. Il try that..
@gentleWings22 Thank you! I hope it helps you and wish you all the best. 
@gentleWings22 Sometimes you have to forget what is gone, appreciate what still remains and look forward to what is coming next :)
Time heals the deepest wounds... Stay strong :)
@talkinghelps20 thank you for your suggestion's.. Im trying to be strong.. Indeed it doesn't affect me much now.. Cz its been seven years.. Thank you for your valuable time
When one of my relationships ended... it left me devastated. Now (years later) I don't even think about her. My broken heart healed over time
@ChromeLotus people come over it with time.. I took did.. Best of luck with your loved ones@ChromeLotus
@gentleWings22
I have often struggled with this question and possibly similiar thoughts and feelings. This is where I am at in my understading. When you love someone you offer them a piece of your heart that is thier forever. When that relationship ends they take a piece of your heart with them leaving a hole that you always feel. Some days you think about them more than others. As time goes on and as you heal they become a memory you carry with you forever. Everyone experinces love and loss differently. If you are happy with your new relationship then move forward with it and try not to spend too much time in the past, its over and thus a memory. Try to spend most of youre time in the present with life as it is now. We all take trips down "memory lane" the key is not to try to live there.
@ali1112 so true to true.. If feel the same but its life it cant be stable.. And we need to live so just let go everything.. Something's are not meant to stay longer.. Happiness in cant be plucked from a tree and digested.. What to do? Just live is what im doing..
@gentleWings22... From my own personal experiences, nope that is not true that a broken heart does not heals. However, i do agree sometimes it takens longer than other times depending on how you felt about the person you were in love with.
@gentleWings22
I feel like our hearts can love a few.. You can love someone but they may be toxic to you for whatever reason (usually making them an ex) then we start to love someone new. And the love is different because maybe the new love hasn't hurt us yet or as bad as the ex. But of course of you loved someone you will remember the good times over the bad. Sometimes I have dreams that I'm with my ex and things are so great and when I wake up I think... Did I make the right decision by moving on? But I think about it and yes. My ex was toxic. Too much pain and broken trust... I don't think we'd ever progress as a couple.
Last week, I was emotionally ready to leave my real life marriage with children for the life with my ex I dreamed about every night. I even told my wife I was still in love with my ex. Yes, you read that correctly. And I was sober while doing so.
Long story short, my married life is my reality for a reason, and the past is the past for a reason. Now I'm left trying to pick up the pieces of a stable life because I chased a fleeting feeling. That fleeting feeling was very real, I did love her. However, life goes on. It isn't a playlist we can keep on repeat.
@gentleWings22 I know how you feel. i've been with my current boyfriend for a little over 6 months, but whenever I see my last ex (my first love) in school, my day goes downhill from there. I feel your pain <3 If you'd like to discuss coping/recovery techniques or just want someone to listen, message me <3 I'm here for you
@gentleWings22
@gentleWings22
I disagree. I do think all broken hearts do heal. My guess is that what you're feeling right now about "heart missing a beat" when you see her friends or feeling a certain way when you see a photo (thought it would be better to read your comments below to prevent you from typing the same stuff again haha) does not imply that you're still heartbroken over her. It could mean that you have not received some form of closure, reached forgiveness, or that some part of you is still feeling nostalgic for the old times. Which is understandable for, after all, you did invest a lot of time, love, efforts into your ex at one point. Who we meet will definitely affect us, and it's impossible to detach ourselves from past relationships, even if it's over.
So you mentioned that you've been committed in a current relationship for 7 years. That is no short time, and there are a few questions that arise, like: how long after the break up with your ex did you get into this relationship? Have you spoken to your current partner of how you feel about your ex? Do you feel like you have emotional baggage from the past relationship? If so, what are they? e.g. wary of trusting your current partner for fear of getting hurt etc.
All in all, what I'm trying to say is that being heartbroken implies that you still miss/love your ex, whereas feeling a twinge in your emotions when you see anything related to her does not necessarily indicate the remains of a heartbreak. It might just mean that you've yet to properly forgive her or obtain a certain form of closure for yourself, or even perhaps you're just uncomfortable at being reminded by old, hurtful memories.
Of course that's just my interpretation so I'm curious to hear your thoughts on this :)
P.S Hopefully this makes sense, sorry if I'm rambling haha, I can really relate to your question as I struggled with this at the start about my ex when I was dating my still-currently-4-years bf
