Cheated on twice in a row by 2 dif men

This is just for me. No comments please!!

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i don’t have much energy to write this…but the title says it all. It took me so long to let someone new into my heart. He knew what I’d been through and how I was healing. He just didn’t want to wait another couple of weeks to have s*x. We had plans but he found someone else. He apologized over text but basically acted like he didn’t care. Part of me thinks he just felt so guilty that he doesn’t want to think about it. He blocked me on all accounts. I am fighting my negative thoughts with all my might. But I have that question in my mind. What is wrong with me? Even though I know I’m an amazing catch. I’m everything someone would want in a relationship except I get bad anxiety and I overthink at times. I know it’s not my fault. But still. Twice is a pattern. I just feel defeated. It took so so long for me to get to a comfortable place. He was on and off with me for other reasons (grief). But we were finally getting somewhere. We were so close but now…

Now I just feel so…used. Tossed aside like a rag. Because who even knows why.

I’m beyond disappointed. I was so excited to finally take a leap of faith toward something NEW. And now that’s been taken away from me. It’s very difficult for me to romantically connect with anyone. I had taken the time to heal. I manifested this, or so I thought.

I do believe everything happens for a reason. To be honest, I didn’t love him. I just wanted a new start. Maybe that was wrong of me but we weren’t at that level. I could have loved him probably.

I was so brave and he lied…and he took no responsibility.

I can’t properly express how upset I am. This happened two days ago. I cried myself into a migraine that lasted the entire day yesterday, and I couldn’t get it to go away no matter what I did. I couldn’t even sleep. All I could do was lie there in agony, all because I was upset over a guy who is a narcissist and thought of me basically as an object (I guess). Just wanted me for s*x? I don’t know.

He didn’t tell me…he didn’t say what he really wanted.

I’m so tired. I’m tired of being a woman. I’m tired of caring about other people.

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This is just for me. No comments please!!

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