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Any Advice or knowledge welcome

havens74 July 8th, 2022
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Sorry this is very long. But I really need some friends that r smart and knowledgeable.


So here goes...So I'm a 48 and pretty happy with my life last year. On May 30th 2021 I got a text to my phone.

It was what I thought was a long number. But it was from a text chat place. Come to find out This guy said he was in the area In at.

And he was saying something like he got a text from this site saying we matched.

But the thing is I've never signed up for a dating site except plenty of fish and that was over 20 years ago and I was only on it for 3 days.

Anyway, I dont know how he got to text directly to my phone number. But this site says when he text..its the number to this site says (16827023886

And then it pops up his chat like

CHAT SERVICE- From Ethan36)

And then it will go into text he sends.

Now I didn't every expect to connect with someone like I have him.

But at first 10 text were free. Which I thought was what I pay for on my phone already. But this I've learned over time charges. And they say that ever text. I text then money I payed for each text will go to cancer.

I also told him I wasn't looking for any relationship .Just friends and if he wanted to I'm happy for that if not I wished him luck .and we'll we became friends.

I'm totally aware of the red flags. But I have so much from the bottom of my heart been praying for someone to deeply and emotional be able to bond with. And he came along and for a while month I would pay to talk with him.

I'm not one to do this at all. I have many friends all over the world. And that's people I have met in real life and ones apart of my real life.

But he got to my heart amd talked about things I like to talk with deep down. And I let him in my heart.

I knew I shouldn't of. But I wanted that male company.

We were on the same pages about things and love of God, Family Friends.

He asked me what was in my heart and I say..

God first, Family second and BTS. ( favorite kpop band)

He said that he wanted to take this r to real time. But he was trying to heal from an ex who was abusive and stalker. And thats why his sister signed him up with this site.

He hadnt dated someone in 3 years. And He was in this site becauae it didn't give out info about him.

So its been a year or more. Stuff passed under the bridge. He said he loved me but when I say he is hiding behind this site . because I only know his First and middle name. His age was 45 when we both started talking.but. he ia 46 this year. He says he lives in town like 20 mins from me and is a firefighter.

But I am disabled. And I can't afford to pay for this cite to talk with him. ANF when I ask to met with him he always makes it seem like its my fault. I'm pushing him, putting words in his mouth, twisting what he said.

I've even brought my nephew to couple of firehouses ( hes 17 and I'm giving him options to see if its a line of work he might want to go in)

But I was happy and saying this to him sharing about my nephew. With a guy that says he loves me ..but when I said I've friends in almost all the fireplaces in and around where I live.

Well he was all happy for me being so sweet and helpful to my nephew..but I'm trying to stalk him now.

I've even asked him out myself. And he said it's a turn off when I do that.

I've asked him to call me..nope

I've asked him for picture of him. (Becauase he only has 1 that is on the site he says his sister put up for him) I just wanted a new one becauae he said that was a couple years old.

And I'm not one for looks that much. I'm more for a connection. This is also confused me about if he maybe a scammer or truthful.

He has never asked me for money, picture or facetime or gift cards. Nothing. Hesays he loves the person I am and has fallen in love with.

I've told him I'm tired and getting bored of text relationahip. And what does he want from me. And I say I want a real time relationship. And not hiding. Lets go real timeto see if we have the real physical connection..

But he always makes and starts arguements making me l[k like I'm the one who is stubborn or I'm pushing him or I'm stalking him. Becauae I havr yelled at him in text..and he says he dont want that kind of relationship..always turning it and making me look like its my stubborn stalking fault..

Sorry this is long it has been a long time Ive put Up with things. Even when I asked to just get out from this having to pay to talk to each other. And when I tell him how hard its getting on me..he says he understands..

I've given him my number many times.and said I'm already paying for my phone and unlimited texting ..pleasse lets just go to direct..but Heck no he starta something like I'm pushing him again..all the things I'm doing wrong.

Anyway pleaseee..if someone know about this site or advice..I would love to hear many people's opinions. Thanks & STAY GOLD

4
0m July 8th, 2022
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@havens74

Unfortunately, there are a lot of scams out there, including romance scams. We get regular warnings issued by the authorities to remain alert and avoid interacting with strangers that contact us unexpectedly. Somehow, your situation raises all the flags. Granted he hasn't directly asked you for money, but the site he insists on keeping as the only way to be connected, charges you to text! That's money out of your pocket directly.

I hope you are able to find some definite answers either ways so that you can make the right choices for you.

Much peace to you!

azureLake9999 July 9th, 2022
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Hi, I am sorry to say too, but it is better for you to know the truth than to keep putting time, money, and emotions into this. You deserve a real and mutually respectful relationship. This is definitely a scammer, and the charge you are paying for each text message is probably going directly to the scammer. Dating apps/ websites don't work that way-- you may have to pay to set up a profile, but you do not pay for messages. I searched the number that you listed and other people are saying that they got the same message as you from this number, that their dating profiles matched, when those people did not have dating profiles either. It is unfortunately very common, known as "catfishing" and there is even a TV show about discovering similar scammers. When someone won't talk on the phone, share more than one or a couple of photos, and won't meet up even though they claim to live nearby, it is because they don't want you to know who they actually are. They could be a different gender, different age, married, anything. This is considered criminal activity and you can report this person to the Federal Trade Commission or the FBI's Internet Crime Complaint Center. Again I'm sorry to share this but I don't want you to continue to be taken advantage of. You are worth more than that.

havens74 OP July 9th, 2022
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Thanks so much for your advice. I'm a general happy person. But this has made me sad.never thought that I could be scammed.

But I'm believing that real friends I dont have to pay for. I personally have a lot of friends I dont have to pay money to chat with.

I'm not sure why I felt to let this guy in. Maybe because Ive been able to talk to him about soul things that I don't or haven't shared with anyone else before. But I'm not paying anymore for his hurt and lies. I know there is someone out in this world that I'll be anle to connect with one day and hopefully even deeper and more to it.

Thanks so much. I appreciate the advice and knowledge...STAY GOLD

havens74 OP July 11th, 2022
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Update..I stopped all contact with him and said I didn't think we would work. He said he was breaking up with me becuase I have issues..

He never mentioned that I thought he was a scammer at all.

I just didn't reply to him.

Thanks for everyone listening..Have a good day and Stay Gold