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Afraid of being in love, how to deal with it?

athinker November 30th, 2016

Well actually I come from a tough family situation. Some traumatic experiences make me afraid of being in love with anybody.

I know every boys are not as bad as what I always think. Honestly all this time I never treat boys in bad way. I respect them still. But when it comes to deal with relationship, love or such a thing, it seems like I closed my feelings with these four walls so that I can't fall for them.

I've been living this way for pretty long time. Then how could I change myself? What must I do? I know this is not good for my future, but I still can't deal with the pain when remembering my past. Love brings hurt, that's my principle.

Anyone has gone through something similar? I need your suggestion!

5
windflowers December 1st, 2016

@athinker

hey there. i'm sorry that you went through some traumatic experiences, but you made it through them, so congratulations :) however, here are some links that may help you -- one, two, three, four, and five. all the best :)

1 reply
athinker OP December 2nd, 2016

@windflowers thank you so much! ๐Ÿ’— I've checked them all and I think they are really helpful. Now it does make sense for me ๐Ÿ’œ

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PearTree1904 December 2nd, 2016

@athinker

Things are never certain, but you gotta scrap the what ifs, and have hope.

This doesnt just come with relationships, it comes with big things like getting a new job or moving abroad. Theyre big commitments, but we try and have hope anyways.

and if it fails... dont worry, try again. You know that quote, u do better next, with all ur experiences, that you gained by allowing yourself to try, you'll certainly do better next time. ;) I think you'd love Love.

ali1112 December 3rd, 2016

@athinker

I think many people can share your experiences and relate to love being painful. Sometimes it can be, but for probably different reasons than what you are thinking. Trauma, especially childhood trauma can really impact how we see the world and those in it. I would recommend you see a good therapist that can help you work through some of the trauma that you have experienced so that you can start changing some of the beliefs that are related to the trauma that keep you stuck. If you cant get in with a therapist then maybe look for a trauma workbook to work through.

Overthinker3313 April 14th, 2017

@athinker

I have not even had a bf even when someone I likes ask me out because I am afraid of getting hurt.