A casual thing that turned to love then immediately heartbreak. Any advice welcome.

I meet an older guy through an app in august of 2020 and we started a casual relationship. He had came out of a long term relationship and was just looking for something physical. I was just looking for a one night thing. But when ended up hitting off personally and continued to see each other for 7 months. At first he didn’t want a friendship and just keep it purely sexual. Then he opened up to friendship and wanted to hang out more after 3 months in November. So I would stay for an hour or two after hook ups and we would just talk and got to know each other. And we have consistent back and forth communication via texting. A month later I realized I was falling in love with him but I kept it to myself til I told towards the end of this February. He rejected me as he only wanted something physical but valued our friendship. Afterwards he started showing a romantic interest in me. He would tell me that by being myself, a sweet & caring person I made his life easy. He would also walk me to my car and kiss me goodbye while tell me he wants to see me again. And that I was an amazing person and he really like me for who I am and not my body. Then 3 weeks after my confession to him he cancelled literally last minute out of the blue a meet up saying he was sick throwing and even through he really wanted to see me he didn’t want anyone around him when he sick even though I offer to bring him medicine and electrolytes. and then three days later he told me he wouldn’t be able to hang out for awhile because him and his ex were talking again and he wanted to be respectful to her. I vented to him via text how I felt used and I wish he would have told me he was getting back together with his ex or if this was just them really talking as I didn’t understand what he was saying. He responded 11 days later that he was sorry for hurting my feelings and didn’t intend to and really cares about me but him and his ex are talking in a relationship sense and it wouldn’t be fair to her if he was still seeing me. Then for the next month & a half we have had this back and forth of me trying to figure out how we are going to maintain a platonic friendship but he keeps apologizing for being distant and misses me but he said he can’t hang out with because me it would feel weird when has promised to be faithful to someone. Now whenever I text him it takes 4-11 days for him to respond. He blames it on work and investing in cryptocurrency part time. Then last night I drunkenly sent him an iPhone note that contained how I loved him but wanted to maintain a friendship above all else and for him to be happy along with how I felt about this situation. As well a terribly written angry text that is barely readable. And I haven’t heard from him since this Tuesday. And know I fell all hurt and betrayed while also depressed and disappointed in myself. I don’t know what to do anymore apart of me hopes he contacts me but another just wants to disappear.