A New Path But Curious Within
I guess I want to start off with the idea that I have been single for a month and a half. This past year, I've had 3 relationships and honestly I felt so suffocated by love, having trust issues, being dependent on the other person... I've been trying to practice self love which is great, but realizing that I have to see my ex today to give him back his stuff freaks me out. I don't know how to act. I started having a panic attack last night about it... like I'm over him, but not really? It sucks.
Also, I've been trying to figure out something inside me. Whenever I'm in a relationship and I get hit on/tempted by someone else, it makes me curious about being single. I will talk to them, but mention I have a boyfriend... but something inside me gets excited when I get this type of attention. Idk if that's normal tbh... like I want to have tunnel vision for one person, but it's hard for me not to check out someone "attractive." It's so weird cause when I'm single and messing around with other people, I lowkey want love again
Sorry this is so random. I guess my other worry is that I won't be able to get married because of this nature of mine. Like I leave after 5 months, it's become a trend... why can't I stay committed to someone for a longer time? Why do I feel like it always gets toxic at the end? Why do my insecurities come out? I'm just scared of committing for some reason because ig I'm always curious? Like maybe this is the time for me to be curious for awhile?
@rene9250
Have you considered that what you've written, constitutes that you're not really ready to be tied down in a committed relationship yet? That is perfectly ok, normal, and maybe not a bad idea.
You do not have to jump immediately into a relationship. You can DATE, which is lots more fun and without guilt or a commitment to anyone but yourself.
How will you know when you're ready to settle down and stay with one person in a committed relationship? Time. You'll play the field, find out what is out there, and then likely find that one guy that you want to be with long term that makes all the rest pale in comparison. You'll just know that it's time, you'll be tired of dating, and know it's time to get serious.
Oh, you already met your ex today, likely, I wouldn't have even bothered meeting up with him. I'd have mailed all his stuff back to him and been done with it. Yet, that's me.