What happened to my libido?
Hey all, gee. Where do I start? I am 25 F and have been in the same relationship for 4 years. Things were a bit rocky at the start but all in all, we worked it out and decided to stay together. Over the last 2 years, sex has been extremely scarce. Im talking like, once every 6 months. Why? That's the same question im asking myself. Over time, I've developed this repulsive feeling when my partner kisses me affectionately or touches my body, especially my *** to initiate sex. My boyfriend notices this and deals with the feeling of rejection, which i can understand. It feels like he's decided to stop trying to initiate in general. When we do have sex, i enjoy it. For some reason which i dont understand, i cant get past the initiation part. I've been battling with this a lot and this morning, yes on valentines day, i found a fleshlight in the bathroom. It made me feel so unwanted and respulsive. I dont even know what to do anymore. What joy is a sexless, unaffectionate relationship..? Whats wrong with me?
@BrickHead101
Hello. I am afraid there is no easy answer for that, and it might be necessary you talked to a sexologist. The matter seems to be too serious to be resolved by just some online advising.
The reason for you not wanting sex might be numerous: As far as I know some contraceptive pharmaceuticals can actually "kill" libido, and may require other pharmaceuticals to (at least theoretically) bring it back. It might be anything ranging from bad female hormone levels to past emotional traumas. It can be routine and predictability. Or the fear of getting pregnant. Or maybe your partner not slow enough and/or failing to find a key to your "warming up"? Or maybe you needed this rocky start, because it added hotness to your relationship and intimacy? Or maybe there is something worth taking on emotional level? Any illnesses like Hashimoto's disease, or work stress and/or working overtime can also badly affect your sexual health...
But I think it would take some analysis by a professional knowledgeable on both physical and emotional matters. I believe making such a decision together could make your relationship stronger.
The good thing is that despite this unacceptable situation your partner seems to be still faithful to you and apparently sees some reasons to still be with you, apart from terribly missing intimacy, which - from a man's perspective - might be completely devastating.
@jacek73This is a very good, detailed response. Thank you for sharing :)
@BrickHead101
I think when one in a couple has an issue it creates more issues with things left unsaid.... you said you did not enjoy the initiating. what would you like ? .. I know my partner just fell into same move and it ticked me OFF and i was certainly not into it.... If i went along i enjoyed once we got going....
the longer it goes i got upset he was not making more effort and he was taking it as rejection and it made any attempt feel forced or awkward. Have you had a conversation about it?
