Virgin?
I'm 39 and a virgin because I've never been in love before. I think that I was waiting for something or someone to come but they never even came close. I'm not sure if it's because of what happened to me as a child. I was molested by a family friend when I was only eight or nine years old. I've never really dealt with it in any healthy way before. I've never really thought about it because I used my sister's bad relationships as an excuse. This is only coming up now is because I want to be a writer but since I've never experienced a sexual situation is it possible to write about one? How do you write about something that you've never done or experienced before?
@lynsay31
That's a great question! Sex to me is much more of an emotional experience defined by your love and or attraction towards another. It's a way of giving a part of yourself in a unique and special way. On the other hand, sex can be a means of stress relief. It can also be an action to gain pleasure and satisfaction that you would not necessarily find elsewhere. Not to say that sex is the apex of satisfaction or pleasure, in fact I would say it's highly overrated and often overly prized after.
In terms of your writing, I would ask myself, why are these two people coming together for this act? Is it for love or mere pleasure? I'm sure reading erotic stories could help inspire you to write a good sex scene but in order to pull the scene together, it's important for your audience to understand why this scene is happening.
Hopefully I gave you some food for thought and it helps you figure out how you would like to write this. Good luck! 
@TrueArrow
Thanks you did give me much to think about. Everyone that I know thinks that there's something wrong with me for waiting so long but sometimes I think that I waited too long and I missed the opportunity to do that. Now I think that I should just find someone to do it with to just get it over with but I think that I've built it up in my head so huge in my imagination that nothing could ever come close to what I've imagined. What do you think?
@lynsay31
Well if it helps, I'm thirty one years old and have never been intimate with someone. I can't say that having casual sex will be enjoyable or not as everybody is different but I'm personally waiting. Even though it's typical of people my age to have had sex, I don't want to just do it. I want it to be special and with someone that loves me. If that doesn't happen than I don't think I'm missing much because sex without love is meaningless to me. As far as what others think, it's irrelevant. Whether I've had zero or fifty lovers, that is my business and nobody has the right to make you conform to their standards.
On the positive side, I don't have to worry about getting pregnant or getting a std! 
@TrueArrow
I really liked what you said, that what others might think- is completely irrelevant. And that you just don't want to do it because everyone else your age had already had that. You want it to be a unique memory- something to cherish later on. There is something absolutely beautiful about wanting to wait for that special someone to be intimate with. Because it makes the whole thing a lot more purposeful and oh so precious!
And for @lynsay31, writers can create worlds that know no boundary. Using your imagination, you can create wonderful things. And to figure out how you're going to write about something that you never experienced before, exlore. Use your imagination to the point to make it seem believable, enjoyable or maybe even humorous. I'd say, focus on the chemistry between the characters and it'd come naturally from there.
@TrueArrow
Thank you it does actually help me to know that I'm not completely alone. Most people that judge me are my sisters because they have always thought that sex equals love but I know that is wrong. I've never been in love before I think because I'm just no open to it. I think it is also because one of my sisters has already been more than open if you know what I mean. You know the type of girl that can't be friends with any guy because she sleeps with everyone that's my sister. I often wonder if that's why I'm so afraid of being with a guy because of my sister's past or my own what do you think?
@lynsay31
It very well could be. Just remember, you make the rules when it comes to your life and your body. If just being friends with guys would be too difficult, that's fine. Lots of people feel it's not for them and would rather stick to communicating with a man when they are romantically interested in them. I personally like to be friends with guys and girls and don't find it an issue. If you do too, that's fine! Nobody has the right to pressure you into doing something you aren't comfortable with. I'd rather be a virgin than to do something I'd regret or be emotionally scarred from.
The point is, do what makes you happy and comfortable. It's alright to take risks in life but make sure it's always your decision and not anyone else's. Ultimately, the choices we make and the outcome of those decisions will be left for us to deal with.
