Readiness Uncertainty/Guilt

Ok. So I'm going to apologize in advance if this post gets long or rambling. I'm just trying to sort out some emotions.

I'm a virgin and I just turned 24. I've had 2 serious boyfriends, one who dumped me because I was hesitant about sex after 2 months when I was 21 and one last year who was waiting til marriage but was emotionally manipulative so I left him after six months.

I've recently started seeing someone and I really like him. We're not an 'official' couple at this point, but we've been dating for a month. On our last date we were at his place and things started to heat up. We ended up seeing each other naked and doing some heavy petting, which was not much more than I'd done with my boyfriend last year, but the catch is I know he's interested in going further. As we were doing it, I was mildly hesitant but things felt so good I just went with it. I didn't start freaking out until I got home, even though no boundaries had been crossed. I'm just worried now that I've rushed into something and won't be able to regain control over this relationship. I was raised in a fairly conservative family when it comes to sex, and I've always been lead to believe that girls who rush into sexual relationships are sluts. I feel like I'd be really guilty if anyone knew what I'd done. I want my first time to be special, even if it happens before I get married. I'd like to think I could convey this to my boyfriend (for lack of a better word) without it being an issue (he's a virgin too) but I'm afraid of being left again over sex. If that does happen, I don't know if I could forgive myself for blowing this by letting myself get carried away so quickly. I could see myself having sex with this guy, but probably not for a few months until I'm sure there's a comitment there. Do you think that's possible?

Anybody have experience like this or want to offer some advice?