Not sexy?
So I have only ever been with 2 guys in my whole life. The 2nd is my current and long term boyfriend of 4 years. We have been together since my sophomore year of highschool and before we lived together our sexual chemistry was amazing! But after moving in he started to seem like he was getting tired of me. He didn't do the same things and seemed less enthusiastic about having sex with me. It went on like that and didn't really change until I became pregnant the farther along I got and the bigger my belly got the more he would make excuses to not have sex with me. Sometimes I practically had to beg and sometimes I cried myself to sleep because I felt so disgusting. Our sex life still hasn't really improved and I feel like he even pictures other women when he's with me...
@Babygirl19 - Hi lovely, first of all, congratulations on your pregnancy! I hope you're doing well through it - that can be quite a challenge!
As for your boyfriend, I'm sorry that he has felt so much more distant lately and that it's been making you feel undesirable. Have you talked to him at all about it? Do you think that he might not be understanding how you're feeling or might have something else going on? You certainly know both yourself and him better than I do, but I'm a proponent of open communication - often it clears up a lot of misunderstanding and hurt feelings.
Take care
@Babygirl19
Your sex life with him (or lack of rather) is only a symptom of much larger issues that are going on between the both of you. Generally, when a man withholds sex in that way it is tied to the way that he feels about the situation he is in with you, other things that are stressing him out (like having new children for example), or perhaps unrelated stress that have nothing to do with you. It could also be a psychological or medical problem that can be addressed by a medical professional.
However, my guess is that after you moved in things became quite real from a bf/gf situation to a live-in pretty much wife with children. It is a huge adjustment and perhaps he isn't taking the adjustment very well.
A lack of desire and interest in the relationship you both share is certainly alarming and is not something that you should just wait and see how things turn out. The best time to take action is now. Do not wait. I would highly recommend seeing a couples therapist and getting to the CORE or ROOT causes of the issues you both face as a couple. While you can try talking to him, you might find it is easier talking to a wall about such issues. I have a feeling a third party might be more helpful to get the both of you talking about what is really going on.
If you want to try and save what you both share - it will take effort on both of your parts. You both have to commit to making this work between you. If you rule out stress and other factors - you might have him see a doctor to rule other things out.
Granted - I do not know the both of you, have not talked to him, and certainly I'm going on experience with relationship issues when a man withholds interest (sex or otherwise) - therefore, this is not advice - but, perhaps a gentle guidance for you to seek the appropriate help not just for you but perhaps the both of you together.
Lastly, remember to address core problems, not the symptoms. Fixing the symptoms will only place a band-aid on your situation. Get to the underlying reasons why you both have ended up in this situation... and you both should leave the finger pointing and blame at the door as that will not help your situation.
If you both value what you both share and want things to get better - try working on it a little each day. It's not going to improve overnight but perhaps an outside therapist can take a look at this objectively and help the two of you through some very difficult discovery and decisions on what to do next.
Good luck to the both of you! I hope you both are able to find some clarity and resolve some of these issues together.
