I have a fetish that I obsessively worry about

I've had a fat/weight gain fetish as long as I can remember and in untill the last couple of years I kept it a secret. I've now told some close and trusted friends as well as a counselor about it and none of them seemed at all concerned. I appreciate that my friends have been accepting but in a way their lack of questions or concern makes me feel like they don't understand just how big of a deal coming out about it was for me.

I'm constantly worrying about how it may affect relationships or what other may think about it. I feel incredibly awkward whenever the topic of weight gain or overweight women comes up and I feel terrible andwand perverted when I'm turned on by someone talking about their weight (especially if they're upset about it).

I just don't know what I should do. Talking to people about it seems to do little more than just satisfying the urge to get it off my chest and googling anything related to fat fetishism gets me article after article demonizing the fetish and those with it while only the most extreme and abusive of relationships involving the fetish.