Help?
Hi. So this is really hard for me to talk about, because we'll it's sex.
I'm 21, married going on 4yrs. I have two toddlers and depression.
Anyways, I am kind of a clumsy, awkward person. This makes it SUPER hard to "try to be sexy". I kid you not every time I've tried it's been an epic failure. From initiating/seducing sex to trying sexy outfits to trying new things.
Anyways, my husband is the type who can't keep his paws off which in a way is good I guess since my stretched out, flabby body & depression basically kill it for me. He tries to reassure me but well even as a 120lb teenager I thought I was fat (my mom and my brother always told me I was growing up). I am working on losing weight but no matter how good I eat and how hard I try I'm just not.
It seems like when he initiates and I go along with it, it goes great or at least okay. Sometimes I do it just for him (he doesnt know that) because I can't just flip a switch with depression. I just want to be loved on like cuddles and hugs and kisses, most of the time I'm not at all interested in sex. But obviously he has needs and occasionally when I do it for him I have fun too. I could really use some help I'm 21 I shouldn't dislike sex, I'm not 100!
@Cheshire94
The fact you are awkward with initiating shoudn't be a problem anymore (or ever) as you are together with your husband for already 4 years you said. This should be something he is used with and something he could try to help you with in case he wishes that!
About you not being 100% ready for sex all the time - that's a healthy thing and I believe you need support from his part on your needs too. It's one thing to want to please you man and another one to lie to him about your own needs. It may not be like that, but I'm just saying ignoring your needs to support his isn't something that will help you with your depression. Does he know about all you are feeling/dealing with? How do you feel when you are just intimate with each other without having sex?