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Cheshire94
11,171 M Pacing Forward 5
PathStep 125 Compassion hearts163 Forum posts433 Forum upvotes290 Current upvotes290 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2016 Member sinceOctober 25, 2015
Recent forum posts
How can I help my husband understand?
Depression Support / by Cheshire94
Last post
 September 30th, 2016
...See more Back story: I'm 22, married with two toddlers, and we own a home. We've been together six years come Christmas Eve. I've been depressed for roughly 8 years with self harm and multiple suicide attempts as a young teen. I've had the anxiety for 3.5 years which is when my life became such a struggle. I hid it well up until last October when after 5 years of being free from self harm I relapsed and that's when I told him everthing. I hid it so well up til then and I think maybe that's why he doesn't completely believe me. He hasn't said that he doesn't I just get that feeling when he says certain things. My husband doesn't understand that I'm always so tired because of the fact that I'm depressed. I don't think he truly believes that I have anxiety and depression. But the truth is I used to be able to hide it so well and now I'm too tired to try. He's always given me lectures on my sleep schedule and we've talked about it extensively and he finally dropped it. Even when I get 12hrs of sleep I'm still tired. Yesterday was the first day that wasn't hot since May, so I took my kids in the wagon for a walk. We picked up pinecones, acorns, and yellow leaves. We had a nice time but from that little one mile walk and about 30 mins at the park I was so tired the rest of the day I could barely function. I don't know how to fix this, and I need to some how figure out a way to help my husband understand that just doing the bare minimum is exhausting, let alone trying to keep up.
I'm not sure what it is, what I am
Eating Disorder Support / by Cheshire94
Last post
 July 25th, 2016
...See more I think I may have an eating disorder. I'd really appreciate some guidance from people who have experienced an eating disorder. I will explain more in the morning. Thank you for reading this.
**Ladies Only** Gynecology support needed
Healthy Living / by Cheshire94
Last post
 June 28th, 2016
...See more I'm not really sure where to post this. This is really embarrassing for me so please be kind. Back story, I'm 21 and have two kids. So ever since trying to breastfeed my 1st kid my boobs have been crazy sensitive as in having to wear a bra 24/7, any simulation is almost painful or painful, and as long as I can remember I've had 10 DAY PERIODS and they're ALWAYS late by 2-4 days. It really sucks. But the only good thing is that I've never really been moody....until now. I'm a day late already (not pregnant I already checked) and I've been having MAJOR mood swings! I feel like I'm going insane! I don't realize what a bitch I'm being until it's already too late. I'll be furious over little things, and today I felt majorly depressed (I do have depression but this was different) as in like I couldn't really function today, the day was a blur, I couldn't focus (it took me all day to make a grocery list/menu). And then when my husband got home we were all supposed to go to the grocery store and I was too bloated to wear the shorts I bought and fit in yesterday! I apologized to my husband for acting like a bitch and then just out of nowhere for no reason started bawling uncontrollably (I'm not a crier). I'm just so lost, I've never felt like this before and I feel like maybe something is wrong with me? I can't really go to a dr because of my insurance.
**trigger warning: family death**
Trauma Support / by Cheshire94
Last post
 June 28th, 2016
...See more I'm going to try to get through this as quickly as possible. Long story short, my parents were missionaries to Russia. We were there for about a year when my mum got pregnant. We (parents, brother, and I) came back to the States for her to have the baby. A few weeks later we went back. And 10 days before his first birthday, my mother called my father and was understandably freaking out when she couldn't find him after she had put him in his crib for a nap while the interpreter was there for her Russian lesson. We were walking back from the market and my brother and I were dispatched to look around the base of the building (our flat was 5 floors up). I remember it so clearly, I went around the left side of the building to where the clearing of trees was, tall grass all around and the sun shone as if it were guiding me to where he was lying. He looked like he was sleeping. No blood, just his perfect, angelic face so peaceful looking. I just froze for a minute then ran to get my father. He picked him up and he was as limp as a rag doll. I remember him crying as he carried him up the 5 flights of stairs and I cried even though I couldn't quite process what was happening, I think it was shock. My mum was on the phone with the English clinic. They were walking her through cpr and she couldn't bear to be by his body so she repeated the instructions to my father who had placed his lifeless son on their bed. I just watched in horror unable to do anything. Next the EMTs came and
Help?
Relationship Stress / by Cheshire94
Last post
 May 21st, 2016
...See more Hi. So this is really hard for me to talk about, because we'll it's sex. I'm 21, married going on 4yrs. I have two toddlers and depression. Anyways, I am kind of a clumsy, awkward person. This makes it SUPER hard to "try to be sexy". I kid you not every time I've tried it's been an epic failure. From initiating/seducing sex to trying sexy outfits to trying new things. Anyways, my husband is the type who can't keep his paws off which in a way is good I guess since my stretched out, flabby body & depression basically kill it for me. He tries to reassure me but well even as a 120lb teenager I thought I was fat (my mom and my brother always told me I was growing up). I am working on losing weight but no matter how good I eat and how hard I try I'm just not. It seems like when he initiates and I go along with it, it goes great or at least okay. Sometimes I do it just for him (he doesnt know that) because I can't just flip a switch with depression. I just want to be loved on like cuddles and hugs and kisses, most of the time I'm not at all interested in sex. But obviously he has needs and occasionally when I do it for him I have fun too. I could really use some help I'm 21 I shouldn't dislike sex, I'm not 100!
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