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Friends with benefits

Julietlovesu415 January 13th, 2018

It didnt work out. I'm not closed off enough and he wasn't open enough. He was also juggling however many other women and obviously likes one more than the rest of us. He made it too complicated, I was/am too emotional.

It was so bad that he wouldn't let me tell him I missed him. Like he would make me feel bad about it. He's horrible with communication so I stopped talking to him.

Its really hard to let go of the sex because the sex was AMAZING but the emotional issues on both ends really got in the way. If we could go back to being friends of like that, and I did tell him that but he I guess didnt read that part of the text or whatever.

I'm bummed but he keeps himself too busy to notice. One day he will be sitting in his shed working with his 3D printer and he will miss me. Or he will be with one of his friends that bothers him and wish it were me instead.

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Spenser1701Gmailcom January 15th, 2018

F w/ B the key is no emotions, and don't make eachother jealous of other lovers.

1 reply
Julietlovesu415 OP January 17th, 2018

@Spenser1701Gmailcom I know what it is I just cant do it and ive told him that. He knows how I feel and chooses to keep it going.

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xomariuhxo January 16th, 2018

Im tired of friends with benefits, everyone sees me as a piece of meat now and not someone with feelings it makes me depressed now that I cant find someone who actually wants me for me and not my body. People think Im a whore now

3 replies
Booklover95 January 16th, 2018

@xomariuhxo

Fuck what people think. Do you think everyone is perfect? people mess up all the time. Those people who critize you are hypocrits.

If the sex you had was consentual no reason for you to feel guilty. We're in 2018, have sex with anyone you want doesn't matter (safely ofc).

Now if it is not making you happy that's another issue. If you feel like you need love, not just sex, then take your time finding the right guy/girl for you. Best of luck heart

1 reply
xomariuhxo January 16th, 2018

@Booklover95 thanks you made me smile today

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Julietlovesu415 OP January 17th, 2018

@xomariuhxo Sounds like you have the opposite problem that I have.

Though I dont allow someone to act like I'm a piece of meat and make sure they know I have emotions. Either way its depressing and not easy to go through because we are emotional beings.

But if you can do friends with benefits and not have feelings towards the person/people youre having sex with more power to you because I can not do it. I wish I didn't or couldnt care.

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Booklover95 January 16th, 2018

@Julietlovesu415

I think the point of friends with benefits is just sex (or am I missing something?) So is normal he didn't get attached. Is consentual casual sex without any emotion.

I know is hard to have a heart of stone and not get emotionally attached, but not fair to blame him. If you both agreed to friends with benefits it was an agreement without actual love right? I don't think he didn't love you on porpose. Is more like he didn't even consider it since was just sex.

I hope you feel better soon. Just remember there are many wonderfull guys (romantically and sex too!) so don't give up

5 replies
Julietlovesu415 OP January 17th, 2018

@Booklover95 its a complicated story but yes the idea of friends with benefits is no emotions. However we've known each other for 12 years and we were already attached. His grandpa died last month and that's what made him detach for a couple weeks, the reason I couldn't tell him I missed him. Him and I have already been through the emotions talk twice and he knows how I feel but he wont tell me how he feels and hes fine with how I feel, he wants me to feel.

He hasnt said "I need a break or we need some distance" etc. So he obviously wants it and is ok with it. He fights for it and not just the sex. I mean that I know of. Unless someone can shine some light on what hes really doing.

Ive confronted him straight on about things he says to me that show more than just "I want to fuck your brains out" and he has not once said "oh you just read way too far into that". Or "No that's not it at all." There's no bounties and every time I put up a wall he tears it down. And we don't just have sex we hang out for hours usually before having sex and then either we spend the night with each other or hang out for a few more hours and then one of us goes home, is that normal with friends with benefits? Or casual sex? And we see each other most of the week, he'd see me everyday if he could. Is that normal?

4 replies
Booklover95 January 17th, 2018

@Julietlovesu415

You know friends with benefits from what I've seen is just sex for a reason. From what you said I think he might not feel ready for a relationship. Is very important to feel that your heart is in place for a relationship. Maybe his grandpas dead and everything going on in his life, he doesn't feel ready and is why he asked for just sex. To feel some sort of intimicy yet not feel "trapped" into comitting into it.

If it has to be it will be don't worry. If you say he really wants it then give him time. But don't push him to it because might give him pressure and he might panic about it.

I hope it works out for you

3 replies
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RecoveringFlower January 16th, 2018

Forget friends with benefits.. I don

1 reply
Julietlovesu415 OP January 17th, 2018

@RecoveringFlower Id rather have friends. I've actually tried three times to go back to just being friends, he won't allow it.

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