Fat and feederism fetish

So, hey, I've had this fat fetish for a few years. And I don't think it's ruining my life, but it just perplexes my why I'm into it.

For example, eating to the point of a food coma turns me on. Gaining a bit of weight turns me on. And fat guys turn me on. I can't really explain it, it just sort of happened over time. What bothers me about it is the fact that I can't seem to make sense of it, even to this day.

When I was in high school, I ogled at one of our high school wrestlers, who somehow went from 185 lbs all the way to 325 lbs in something like two-three years. Seeing a guy that big and powerful looking just did something for me. He really opened my eyes to the world of gaining, where a person gains weight for sexual/self gratification. I guess I fall into the "gainer" category, since I've gained like sixty pounds since I started almost two years ago.

My family is receptive of my gaining, but there are still issues. For example, my mother, stepfather, and little brother all went kayaking without me since there is a weight limit on the kayaks. I stayed home and watched the dogs. I still had fun without having to be around people, but I just have to admit, getting fat is a lonely journey. I really just wish that I knew more people that I could hang out with so that way I wasn't so lonely in this endeavor to get fat.