When do you give up?
Hi, Quick Note: I'm kind of new to this whole thing, but I would love to find like-minded people who maybe suffer similar struggles so that we can support one another and get through this. I have been in a relationship for almost two years and we have been unhappy for a lot of that. Lets just say the universe has not been on our side but we still manage to get through everything that comes our way. We have each had to move across the country for the other person on more than one occasion, we have been isolated together due to COVID, we are both fairly damaged, etc. but we have gotten through it all. But when we fight, which is a lot, it's like world war three because we are so passionate and love eachother so much. It's like the people you love are the most capable of hurting you with something as simple as a communication issue or issue with understanding. We have almost broken up so many times but we can't. It's hard to explain. But I would do anything to work through our problems and be with him for the rest of my life. However, we need to find a way to communicate, understand, and stop hurting eachother. Please HELP! And if you support me I'll be happy to support you as well :) any advice is greatly appreciated
@abbseyslove I've been in a similar situation with my current person. Our fights were explosive, sometimes everyday of the week and they'd last hours, like 5 hours. We've been together over 4 years now, and things are a lot better. Not perfect, whatever that is, but we're def stronger, althought we still have concerns about one another, but that's a whole other thing.
Honestly, what helped was time apart. We spent too much time together and built an unhealthy codependency for one another. For a long time, I thought I was too broken, because even my friends found my issues overwhelming and eventually I stopped confiding in them. Still the issues existed. Then one day, my bf blew me off. In response I changed my day's plans and found new friends (literally met strangers) to spend the day with. And it was great (we are best friends now). So, I guess what I'm trying to say is, I hope you find that point where other people, other activities etc help motivate you to remember the joy of being you, that there is so much out there to explore. When we are met with the same pattern as the day before, we are stuck. Then with covid, my bf and I decided to try long distance, which solidified us more. It helped us take a step back and rebuild our relationship by not constantly being in each others' faces. I definitely reccomend having space.
And for those times you argue, not to raise your voice, to not interupt and stay calm and poised are important.
