To stay or go
Hello,
My wife and I have been together 10 years and have had sexual/intimacy issues for 8-9 of those. She love bombed me and initiated sex often that first little bit. Soon after we got married she wanted to kiss and have sex less and less but still cuddles and holds my hand often. We’re best friends. Each year we either don’t have sex at all or only have it a few times. She tells me in an ideal world I’d have a friends with benefits on the side but I don’t want that. I feel bad wanting more and having needs but I also can’t walk on egg shells hoping I’m not kissing her too much or making her feel too bad about sex.
I’ve been telling her all this for years now and nothing has change permanently, always up and down each year.
Advice?
@emotionalBranch5559
First i am sorry you are dealing with this and it is something many have faced. It is crushing as a rejected partner that wants and needs more then cuddles and hand holding. It can feel like a person is not attracted to us anymore etc. Especially after they were NOT like that in the beginning. the fact she has offered you a FWB option says she is decided she cannot fix her lack of interest.
Low libido in women can be hormone imbalance many options to discuss with a doctor.
many stay thinking it will get better and so on but as you have shown it is not resolving and your desire and need for intimacy will start to cause a divide even if you do not see it.