Relationships are hard at any age.

I've never deluded myself into thinking that relationships get any easier as you age. Most people my age have long settled into a pattern that works not only for themselves but for their partner whether they are married or involved with someone. Your view of relationships change with time; I don't see relationships the same way as I did in my 20's, 30's, or 40's. I'm not in a big hurry to find someone at this point in my life. I realize that younger people look for someone to spend time with; to nurture each other, grow together as a couple. And that is what I also look for at my age.

But I'm in my 60's; and my view of relationships is different. There are a lot of aspects that are common no matter what age you are. But when you have reached a certain age, you know what you need in a partner. Life has a way of changing how you view certain events and relationships are no different. I'm not concerned with having children, raising them, worrying over them. Those days are behind me. But I am most concerned with compatibility. It's become tantamount in my relationship. And, at this age, comes a lot of mental as well as emotional baggage you may not have had when you were younger. I don't have that urgency one has when starting out in a serious adult relationship. Taking time is something you have to have when you want your relationship to succeed.

Something I have discovered of late is the fact that some people who involve themselves in relationships still haven't moved past what has happened in the past. My current partner is one of those. I have done my best to put relationships that didn't work out for whatever reason behind me and not attempted to put those thoughts and feelings on my current partner. But my partner is still playing the games he played in his twenties with the women he dated. The fact that he was married twice colors how he views our relationship. I don't have that view. I've never been married, therefore, I don't carry that baggage around with me. I admit I have relationship baggage. We all do. But I work hard at not placing it on him; he had nothing to do with how I was treated and how I felt at that time.

But he has played games with my emotions and it can be hurtful. His passive-aggressive behavior has caused me to back pedal more than once from him. He, on the other hand, feels he has done nothing wrong and can't understand why I feel the way I do. He is intelligent, engaging, and a great person to be with. But he seems to have a knee-jerk reaction to everything I say or do when he acts this way. It is frustrating to try and attempt to explain to him why I am reacting this way. Sometimes I'm not sure if he knows what he is doing and waiting to see what reaction I will have. He's great at giving ultimatums and waiting to see what my reaction will be. I refuse to allow him to bait me into an argument. My dilemma is that we are great together except for this area.

I am concerned when it comes to this type of behavior. I want him to understand that what he does has consequences with our relationship. I have tried various ways to convey how I feel when he does this. But I feel I am not making any headway in getting him to see the light. I needed to vent about this issue. I appreciate all who read and understand what I'm going through. Thank you for listening to me. 💔 💙 🔮