Poly problems

My wife and I have been poly since 2018. I messed up and fell in love with a girl I cheated with in 2020. We separated for a while, talk through it etc. and got back together. I offered to put a pause on our poly life but she didn’t want to. But since then she hasn’t dated or talked to anyone for more than a few weeks. I’ve talked to 2 people but I can never really allow myself to gain a connection cause I feel she isn’t really into it anymore. I love her and would choose her a million times but idk what to do to make her feel more comfortable.

P.S I guess it wouldn’t be fair for me to leave out that the cheating came after she felt the friendship was causing a problem and she asked me to cut things off. I didn’t. Continued talking to her then when my wife and I separated I continued talking to her. I fell for the girl, Officiated our relationship. I didn’t feel it was fair for her to end my situation cuz she had a feeling. ( she seen a text that said I give good hugs)

I know I fucked up but I’m still in love with the other damn girl. And I would never Perdue her it would hurt my wife. Plus it’s mad embarrassing. What do I do?