I hate my life
I don’t know why I said okay to my marriage. Even when they showed me his photo, I felt I didn’t want to marry him and said no, but my uncle manipulated me into saying yes, and I trusted his words blindly. Now, I’m married to a man I’ve never felt attracted to.
My marriage and my brother’s happened at the same time, but his was a love marriage. Now, they live happily—they spend time together, bathe together, eat together, and take photos holding hands. I can’t even bring myself to touch my husband’s hand. I don’t feel attracted to him. I don’t like his smile, his eyes, or anything about him, but my parents expect us to be like my brother and his wife.
My mom even had heartache thinking about my marriage life. I’m not happy with him. He never starts a conversation; I always have to. He never does. I pretend to be happy just to see my parents happy.
@greenScarf5019
I’m really sorry you’re feeling this way, it sounds like you’re carrying a lot of emotional weight. Marrying someone you didn’t feel a connection with, especially when influenced by others, can leave you feeling trapped, and it’s okay to acknowledge that this isn’t how you envisioned your life. You’ve been forced into a situation where you're pretending to be happy, which only deepens the frustration.
Feeling disconnected from your husband is painful, and it's even harder when the expectations of others, especially your parents, make you feel like you have to conform to a "perfect" image of marriage. The comparison with your brother’s love marriage adds another layer of pressure, making it feel even more isolating.
In these kinds of situations, the first step is to be kind to yourself. Your feelings are valid, and it's okay to feel confused or unhappy. You don’t have to pretend for the sake of others. Marriage is a partnership, and if communication and attraction aren't there, it might be worth exploring deeper conversations, either with your husband or a counselor, to understand what you both want out of this relationship.
It's also important to talk to your parents or a trusted family member about how you feel. Though they may have expectations, they also need to understand your pain. You deserve to have your emotions heard and validated.
You deserve happiness and connection, and while things may seem difficult now, taking small steps to understand your feelings and communicating honestly can guide you toward clarity. Have you considered talking to your husband or someone else about how you're feeling?
I'm here for you if you need someone to talk to. Ypu can always message me:)
@dtanushree
Thank you for your words. I don't think anyone here, not even my parents or partner, will understand my situation.
@greenScarf5019
You're so brave to share your issues here with us. It takes a lot to open up about our issues. I can understand that maybe no one can feel the pain which you're going through and I hope you find a way to do something about it because one thing which every human deserves is to live the way they want and be happy. If you ever feel like you need someone to listen to you then I am here :)
