I get tired of flirting.
I'm 45 Male, and Single. I'm probably single for good reason. I still live with my parents, learning disability, don't get out much due to driving issues, and my janitor job. I also don't have a club to be in.
Over the years I have had to use some online dating, and social networking sites to meet women. None of this has ever resulted in me going out on a date. They always live too far away.
I have noticed that flirting seems to be a big thing with Men and Women. But I have never been a good flirt. If I find myself doing it, I usually find that I get tired of it pretty quickly. I enjoy meaningful conversations.
I felt compelled to share this, because there was someone in my work life, that used to pick on me. I think she was flirting. And I think the way I responded wasn't always the best, because I didn't understand what was going on. Just tonight I watched a yt video on the subject, and it made me feel like I missed something.
Not everyone knows how to flirt
some flirt smoothly like they were born for it meanwhile some don’t know anything about flirting but still gets the ladies
just be yourself and things flows smoothly you’ll be flirting without even realizing
@friendlyMoon806 What prompted this was a lady at work who "teased" me for 9 years! In all that time I never knew how much she actually liked me. In conversation she was vague. And she was hot and cold. So I never could understand her. It shocked me when I found out she wrote a book. I had to buy the book just out of curiosity. After reading the book, I felt like I never really knew her. She quit her job, and she's been out of my life for a month, and I still think about her. I feel messed up. I think my circumstances, my struggles with my learning disability, and the fact I'm tired a lot, all play into the negative effect this person had on me.
@tryingtosurvive2024
Do you have any possibility to contact this person and tell her the same things you've just written here? How do you think she might have reacted? Do you think trying to contact and talk to her would be good?
I think maybe you should not care as much about the difference between flirting and meaningful conversations. Sometimes it can change in a moment. You're starting by "How are you?" (in my beautiful country it means you really want to know that, it's not an empty form). You may start small chatting and discuss life and death or the sense of existence like with a turning of a knob, you never now.
Personally, I'd also be careful about all those online courses or books which try to learn us to be good at dating. From my experience, they often fake it, by trying to learn you how to be a different, standardized person - but not yourself.
I think you've got an eagle in your soul - the tendency to feel things deep. And you may need to find someone who sees this eagle in you. It might be a long journey, but still I believe it's better than trying to behave like a hen to satisfy the crowds?
However, getting out of someone's comfort zone, maybe trying new attitudes and new things could be valuable, too? How would you like that?
@jacek73 Currently she is really busy and I'm not a high priority. I have sent her about 8 emails and haven't got any responses since, she left here. I'm trying to let her go. Yet the last thing she shouted at me in person was, "Until we meet again." (We are both Christians) I shouted back, that might not be until we are in heaven. Her response was "that will be a good day".
A couple years ago, another Woman at work, told me her point of view of the relationship between me and L. She said this, the reason you two have problems is because you two are too much alike. She is emotionally deep. I am also emotionally deep.
L wrote a book. I don't think she wanted me read her book, but I bought it and read it. After reading it, I felt like I didn't really know L at all. She kept so many things to herself. Things that her and I could of connected on, and deepened the relationship. I'm the opposite, once I think you are a good person, I'm an open book, because holding stuff in hurts me. That is one of the reasons why I write what I write here.
I know what it is like to anxiety to the point of having nervous break down. Holding stuff inside doesn't help anything. But between me and her, it isn't fair. She has pastors she talks too and lets this stuff out that way. I don't have any pastors in my life to do that too. I would probably live that way if I could.
Thank you for your comment!
@tryingtosurvive2024 I relate to you
