How to forgive husband for cheating
We are married for 12 yrs with 2 kids. Recently I found out he have been talking to another women for a year, he said he never met her. Emotional cheating is quite painful. Over the last couple of years, I was very alone and tried numerous times to reach out to him because he is distant and unhappy. I thought he was depressed. 6 months ago, I lost my dad to ALS and the last 2 yrs of his life we were dealing with his stage 4 cancer, so I was having a tough time. I never felt so alone. I asked him if there was another women because my gut feeling was that he has someone else. He laughed at me and said I was over thinking. So I let that go and just worked on myself. And I blame myself for being sad around him and wanted too much from him. When I finally found out 2 weeks ago he was talking to someone else, I was devastated. I found out because I saw her text. He finally admitted and left our home for a week. During this week, I told him I wanted to work it out with him because I don’t take our commitment/ marriage lightly.
He came home and said he loves us. He said he felt lonely and that he knew that what he had with her will never happen. It started with playing online games. She was lonely and he was just there for her. It hurts really bad to hear because I am feeling soooo sooo lonely while he was comforting her. And I trusted him with what he said, never question him about it after I asked if there was another women. I’m upset because it was up until the last minute that he got caught he admitted it, during that year of me being “crazy” the thought of stop communication with her never occurred. Anyway, he said he stopped talking to her and deleted the WhatsApp app. I really don’t know what kind of relationship they had. Now that he is home, he doesn’t talk about it. I know he feels bad but I feel like I still don’t understand. It just seems like he is home and we are suppose to forget what happened and move on. I am having trouble letting it go and it still hurts me everyday when I think about how he lied to me every single time. And how every morning he would leave our bed to talk to her in another room. And that it went on for a year. I blame myself for trusting him instead of my gut. Why would someone leave the same time every morning and stay in a different room till midnight? I just thought he wanted his space to play games or do his thing. So yeah, i feel so messed up right now
i see him and I’m suppose to be happy because we are working on becoming a stronger couple but this pain is still very present in me.
I don’t know how to feel. Should I let it go and try to be happy? Is it really not that bad and I am over-reacting?
so if anyone have experience, please let me know how to forgive. Thank you.