Disabled Wife - Not working wife - Fibromyalgia
OK, I will try this, I have no idea what I am doing. I have never asked for help and am not sure I know how. I have been married to my wife for 16 years on Saturday. Back in 2016, she was injured at work, workers compensation screwed her over and did nothing to help her with her injury. Since her injury, she has fallen into an almost hermit state. She is depressed and has anxiety and Fibromyalgia. I have been the only one working since July 2016. Things were okay for the First few years I was working in corporate America and we only had one child. We now have 2 great kids. So that gives you a little background. my daughter was born in 2017.
Well here is where I am now. I feel like I am the Cash cow for the family and that is all I am good for. There are more often than not times that my wife says she is in pain or has a headache or Verdigo and can not do whatever is going on for that day. The house does not get clean. She does cook when she has to. she does do laundry but folding at least her and my laundry is still in bags. on top of that the Physical part of our relationship is very little too rarely there.
Please help me maybe have a different perspective. I am at my wit's end I hate how I feel.
@AtrainOC
First of all, I believe it is nothing wrong in how you are feeling in such a situation, being the only source of income in the household AND at the same time most of the daily chores being on your shoulders.
I would like to ask you some questions, or maybe you would like to consider thinking about some things:
As far as I learnt, the fibromyalgia is an illness that can be difficult to diagnose and categorize in terms of disability. What the doctors say?
It sounded quite alarming to me that besides the illness your wife might be going through some depression and anxiety issues. Is there anything possible to do about that?
As far as I understand your younger child is now 7, but how old is the elder one? Maybe it would not be right to involve your children in the daily chores too much, but SOME actions, like helping with cleaning the dishes after dinner or some cleaning in their rooms could really make a difference to you?
Do you have any possibility to communicate with your wife about the difficult feelings you are going through, or about your need of feeling physically close to her?
I am not a person authorised to give you any advice, because it's you who is the best expert on your life. But I just try to show you some possible directions you might go into.
Last but not least, I understand that in the circumstances given your fatigue might be immense. What could happen if you could give yourself some well-deserved rest? Working, caring about the family and house, and helping the person with some disability I believe might be really exhausting. And while you start to feel burnt out, it can bring no good to anyone.
Would that be organizationally possible for you to have some break? Changing the environment for a while? Or going for a short (not necessarily expensive) holiday with your children? Or just having some time reserved only to yourself, to feel happier and recharge your batteries?
