Anxiety, No trust, & Relationship
It's happening right now. My thoughts of my gf cheating on me. My insecurities of the past and thinking I'm setting myself up again for another heartbreak from her. I don't know how to stop it and I just feel like she can't leave her ex alone and just respect me and let me go if she can't leave her past alone. Those are thoughts replaying in my head.
I just wish I could be stronger and just let things go and understand my worth. I hate soci media...its my fault for looking and creating things in my head when I'm suppose to be healing.
I hurt my own mind and heart because I forget to be mindful of myself and my life. I chose to be with her and made the decisions knowing what I'd be walking back into. I wish I ddnt feel so much and could let things just be.
Hi.. this is a little vague but I will try and help
Did she cheat on you in the past?
I have experienced both.. my ex cheated on me and after that I couldn't let it go.. constantly checking her phone and accusing her until eventually we split up.. after we split a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders..
However 3 years later I'm struggling to trust my new girlfriend of 2 months.. overthininh everything.. is she lying, is she cheating... and its eating me up.. this has been caused by my ex.. who also caused me to be diagnosed with generalised anxiety disorder because of her cheating.
Only advice I can give is if she has already cheated then I would leave.. it only gets worse.. well it did for me.. im sorry if this is not the advice you were looking fir and I hope you get the help you need
@tutfoster
Hi--I'm sorry that that happened. You had an experience where your ex cheated on you a few years ago. You tried to continue accepting it and staying in the relationship, but it really bothered you and you had trouble trusting her. When you did decide to finally break up, it felt like a huge weight was lifted. (I'm glad you felt like you were able to do that.) But being in that situation has had some lingering effects in the present where you're having trouble trusting your current girlfriend and you feel really anxious in general.
With all of that context, can totally understand why you'd say, "Please, for your own sake, get the heck out of there before things get worse and it has long-term negative effects on you." 💜
Here are a couple resources I was able to find that have some tips for trusting in a new relationship after having been cheated on in the past.
https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/how-to-trust-again-after-being-cheated-on
https://hellogiggles.com/lifestyle/healing-trust-issues-cheating/
my ex didnt cheat me i wished he cheated me but he said it was my problem without telling me before the breakup. I hardly can trust people because he never cheats but he just leave. I am very confuse if there is any man like him and can accept me being a litte bit traditional one in sexuality.
@Tay1100
I'm sorry that that happened. 💜 If I'm understanding, your ex just broke up suddenly without telling you anything was wrong. They weren't cheating on you or anything like that, so the only reason they had for leaving was that they were unhappy with the relationship. And you're not sure if you'll be able to find someone else like him again who is able to accept your preference for a more traditional approach to sexuality.
If you'd like to talk to someone about this, HERE is a list of experienced listeners who accept chats on breakups. Alternatively, 7 Cups also has a self-help guide for breakups HERE.
@somewhereiam142
I'm sorry that she cheated on you. I read about your situation in some of the other threads you posted a few weeks ago (link 1, link 2, link 3).
You feel dissatisfied with the fact that she's cheating on you. Like she isn't respecting you, and if she wants to be involved with her ex she really ought to let you go. But you feel like it's difficult to have that conversation with her. And the fact that you haven't been able to talk to her about it makes you feel bad about yourself (i.e. like you don't respect your own worth, you don't have confidence, etc.).
***
I feel like people usually have good reasons for doing or not doing things. What I'm hearing is that even though you feel you should leave her (and you dislike the fact that you haven't yet), there's some other side of you that disagrees with that and maybe feels like, "Leaving her is not something I really want to do or feel comfortable doing yet." I get the feeling that you're pretty ashamed of that side and feel like it's wrong and you ought to be able to just leave her immediately because that's the "self-respecting" thing to do. I'm interested in what that other side that wants to stay with her has to say. 💜
I don't have any opinion on whether you should stay or not. I just personally find that for myself at least, I tend to feel most comfortable, confident, and secure in what I'm doing (like I'm able to trust myself and my own actions) when I'm aware of what the different parts of me are saying and I'm able to come up with a solution, strategy, or course of action that respects and balances all of those different sides/perspectives.
