@axolthegayaxolotl
Sometimes if you try to to cuddle a cat it will scramble to get away, and claw, and scratch, and bite you, and the more you try the worse it will get. Then when left alone, and in its own time it will come find you for affection and company.
Moral of the story: We can’t impose our love and affection and support on others. They must be receptive to it. As much as your heart is in the right place, and your desire to help comes from a place of love, you need to adapt to his need right now for personal space, to deal with his own anger and process his situation. Right now he might be feeling vulnerable, confused, anxious, upset. You might think ‘Well I’m his partner! If he’s feeling all those things he should confide in me and we can deal with it all together!’ But sometimes the last person we want to see us falling apart is our partners. So instead of reaching for you he is pushing you away. It must be hurtful to you, but do try to understand his response as a possible defensive reaction to his vulnerable state.
Give him time and space. Let him know you’re there for him, and that you love and support him wholeheartedly. But in the end he must decide his own needs. Even if it makes you feel helpless, or feel like you’re not doing enough - take a step back and remind yourself that those are your needs and feelings; not his. Just make him comfortable to ask you for more support if he needs it and hopefully you will both understand each other’s needs better in time and will be able to navigate the complex situation better.
CatsInTheCradle