love/affetion addiction
Hi everyone,
I started seeing someone that is very intense, always chatting and trying to spend time with me (I feel sometimes overwhelmed). She's almost 50 and had many relationships but never spent time on her own, outside a relationship (it makes me think she doesn't know how to be alone). She says she wasn't looking for someone when she found me, but so did my ex, and my ex can't stand being alone either. She needs to be constantly in contact with me, hugh, hand, kiss, constantly (so did my ex). At night she needs to be constantly huging me (although she steped back on this because otherwise I can't sleep or rest).
When we are toghether time flies, we talk a lot and I feel calm. I haven't had this feeling of security and someone caring for me in some time and I do enjoy it quite a bit.
She can be quite interrogative sometimes though, which stresses me out. She says she can't stand it when people don't share their thoughts because she doesn't know what is going on. But I feel a bit invaded. I also feel pushed to take some decisions sometimes, which stresses me out a lot.
The intensity, need for affection and the fact that she's never been on her own, make me think she may have a "love/affection addiction" and this scares me, I don't know what to do with that and how bad it could be for myself.
Does anyone know about this type of addiction?
Thanks
@Suen00
Hello and good day.
Thank you for sharing this. I understand how overwhelming a new relationship can be after a while, let alone with someone that is intense and demanding. Have you tried having an honest and deep conversation about how their actions affects you in the relationship? Everyone is different when it comes to love and some people need time and space to get the hand of things. Maybe you could talk about what is comfortable for both of you and reach a compromise that addresses your overwhelm and her need for attention. Also, maybe you could talk more about your partner's dating history and how it relates to the present. It may not necessarily be an addiction but intense attraction or need for attraction. People tend to be clingier at the start of a relationship which could still be overwhelming for their partner. Good luck and have a great day!
thanks for your reply @gracefulBerry2499
I just had a conversation with her and I am really drained and worried... I had a nervous breakdown where I couldn't stop laughing and crying at the same time for about a couple minutes. I'm scared, I never had this before...
I told her I'm currently under stress and that I need to her to be lighter on some sensitive topics. Although she is so anxious it feels like she can't stop thinking and asking about a problem eventhough we both know we're not getting anywhere else and the conversation is not productive anymore. Plus we had disentangled the missunderstanding. Maybe I'm the only one seing it this way.
I'm really scared...