i miss love

sometimes i miss the feeling of warmth telling someone i love them at night,

sometimes i miss the sex,

sometimes i miss holding someones hand and walking around the park,

sometimes i miss the romance,

sometimes i miss the late night talks and laughs

but missing is no more than reminiscing over what could have been and that will get you no where. yet, i find myself not necessarily missing the person, but rather the love they gave.

i miss love, but i dont feel ready to love again. i been working on myself a lot lately. maybe a bit too much to a point where i dont even know if its helpful lol. but i keep striving to do better and build myself up. i try so hard to be better even though it seems futile at times.

im not a very social person, but i wish i was so often. i see so many of my friends around me in happy relationships…and then there is me. now ik its not healthy to compare yourself to others, but sometimes i cant help it. and that comparing myself to others has turned into almost a jealousy, where i want what they have so bad. this jealousy turns into loneliness and sadness most of the time, leaving a nasty taste of despair in my mouth.

i know love cannot be forced and it does have to stumble in your life with a little bit of luck; however, i just always find myself wanting love again. i miss love, a lot more than i care to admit at times…causing me to feel a bit lost/hopeless about love as a whole as of recent.

-slixy