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slixy
1 11,958 M Pacing Forward 6
PathStep 9 Compassion hearts2,758 Forum posts40 Forum upvotes54 Current upvotes54 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2024 Member sinceJuly 14, 2021
Bio

“Those who instill fear into others are in constant fear themselves”


”trying to comprehend an infinitely irrational world will never let you rest in peace🤍🖤”


Recent forum posts
I feel like a walking ghost
Relationship Stress / by slixy
Last post
 June 6th, 2023
...See more Hello, I just got back from a vacation with my family and it was great. I had so much fun it was an absolute blast, but when i had gotten back I felt really weird. My family was being so loving when i saw them, it felt really refreshing to have that feeling again after not feeling it for a long time lol. That brings me to now. Its a couple days later and Ive really been looking at a lot of the friendships and relationships I have from an outsiders perspective (ones im not blood related to). Ive realized how much people ignore/do not care about what I have to say or want to do because it just gets constantly overshadowed. This overshadowing makes me feel like Im a ghost to them sometimes lol. i think after being with so much love at once to going back to how it actually is just really hit hard. My family made me feel like I was apart of the conversation and that I was listened to while I was with them. i feel lost honestly. idk how to feel atm. -slixy
i miss love
Relationship Stress / by slixy
Last post
 January 27th
...See more sometimes i miss the feeling of warmth telling someone i love them at night, sometimes i miss the sex, sometimes i miss holding someones hand and walking around the park, sometimes i miss the romance, sometimes i miss the late night talks and laughs but missing is no more than reminiscing over what could have been and that will get you no where. yet, i find myself not necessarily missing the person, but rather the love they gave. i miss love, but i dont feel ready to love again. i been working on myself a lot lately. maybe a bit too much to a point where i dont even know if its helpful lol. but i keep striving to do better and build myself up. i try so hard to be better even though it seems futile at times. im not a very social person, but i wish i was so often. i see so many of my friends around me in happy relationships…and then there is me. now ik its not healthy to compare yourself to others, but sometimes i cant help it. and that comparing myself to others has turned into almost a jealousy, where i want what they have so bad. this jealousy turns into loneliness and sadness most of the time, leaving a nasty taste of despair in my mouth. i know love cannot be forced and it does have to stumble in your life with a little bit of luck; however, i just always find myself wanting love again. i miss love, a lot more than i care to admit at times…causing me to feel a bit lost/hopeless about love as a whole as of recent. -slixy
i dont like who i am
Depression Support / by slixy
Last post
 April 27th, 2023
...See more hello, i feel like i dont like who i am. I dont feel like i do good enough with my school and my hobbies. i dont like my lack of social skills. i feel like i am just getting sick of myself sometimes. i am stuck at the moment because i want to be better but i just keep failing. i feel like a failure! i feel like a *** failure every single day!!! im so sick of being so mediocre: im never anyone’s first choice for anything because im so mediocre. im never the one who gets recognition for anything i do because it just always (and i mean always) gets overshadowed or just put down. it just gets so *** draining - it really does. why do i not improve with anything? i feel so useless all the time. i mean just so utterly useless. i try to focus on what i do right and it just makes me more angry with myself because its just not ever good enough. idek what im trying to say with this post because really its just a personal issue but i just have no idea what im doing. i have no clue what is wrong with me and it just makes me so sick. i want to be the best at everything i do and all i ever get is disappointment because ill just be so average. slixy
im stuck
Depression Support / by slixy
Last post
 April 17th, 2023
...See more hello, idk what im doing right now and i am really feeling stuck. i feel like now that i do not miss my ex as much (recentish breakup) i dont really know what to do with myself. my college semester is about to end and summer is coming up and i feel like i am going to have nothing going on. i dont really know what to do to be quite honest. currently all i do is smoke the ganj and nicotine all day and then drink at night to pass the time; however, this is what ive been doing for almost all year and it needs to change somehow. obviously i think cutting the drinking and nicotine is a good start. (the ganj might take some extra time but thats a whole nother story). its weird tho because i feel almost bored if im not drunk or high. its the same with school too, like if im not doing school im bored. i feel like all my hobbies are just not as fun as what they used to be. like gaming for example, i play csgo almost every day but its almost not even fun because of how much i play. or my butterfly knife is just not fun to use anymore because i know almost all the tricks u can learn. I just dont feel excitement from as much now. everything seems dull in a way but i dont like that i feel that way about stuff i love. One thing I am pushing for this summer is to make new friends somehow. How I do that, i have no idea. i feel like i need to meet more people because i feel lonely in a way. Even though I am surrounded by people in my life, i just feel so distant. maybe is the fact that no one ever texts me or i am always the one reaching out to hang out, but i feel like i need more people to talk to on a daily basis, male or female. its just a battle to me that seems pointless. i mean i am a very young person for where i am at in life. i have upcoming success with school, i have friends who care about me, i am good at what i enjoy doing, but it all just feels likes its for nothing (and so often it does lol). i feel like im doing so much right now in my life that is just useless and i feel like im just not moving anywhere. everything is starting to be stale, i want new things in my life but im not sure how to get new things started up if that makes sense. why am i getting so bored of what ive enjoyed my whole life? how do i find fun in my life again? i want to shake things up really bad, i almost need to in a way before i lose my sanity to monotony. i wake up and almost do the same thing everyday. i wake up mad at myself a lot of those days because i do that same stuff everyday. i need to break the cycle. i just wish i knew how. -slixy
No interest
Relationship Stress / by slixy
Last post
 April 7th, 2023
...See more Hello, i just have no interest in talking to new women after my last breakup. its been about two months and im so perplexed as to why i still miss her. It was fine last month—i was not missing her as much and i was talking to new people—but recently its been weird because me missing her makes me not want to talk to other girls. For example, I met this girl who is pretty at some dumb party and Ive been really wanting to talk to her. But for some reason it feels wrong, I feel apprehensive about what to say; meanwhile, Im just thinking thinking about my ex. I find this annoying because I just want to move on. i want to move on really bad but something wont let me. The “not moving on yet” ordeal that I am currently dealing with is creating a mental block that is making me not want to talk to new people. Is this normal? What are some ways of moving on a bit faster? I know deep down she was not the one for me, which is why i dont get why i feel the way i do. How do I spark more interest within myself into meeting new people? slixy
breakup made my porn addiction worse
Addiction Support / by slixy
Last post
 March 14th, 2023
...See more about a month ago i went through a breakup and it has caused my porn addiction to get way worse than its been in a while. all i do is think about wanting to have sex or masterbating. I mean I have always been a masterbation addict but its been way way worse recently. How do I stop? I mean I have been doing this stuff since i was in 4th grade, its absurd how I cannot stop ever. And to make it all worse, every time i do the deed with myself i just think about her and it just ruins it and makes me feel sh***y. Its just shameful really. I have no clue how to stop or who to talk to because its embarrassing and I would get laughed at if I brought it up to my friends. Im just at a loss right now, idk what to do.
Self-Love
Depression Support / by slixy
Last post
 March 6th, 2023
...See more Ever since I was a young boy, I had this deep yearning to feel loved. I mean I had a loving family, but my parents were so busy fighting with one another that they basically just forgot about me a lot. To cope with this I played so much Counter Strike, it was really all I felt I had. But after playing games like that you lose your social touch a bit. After leaving middle school I had gone to a school away from where I was originally from and I did not understand how relationships worked. I was an a-hole to people. I thought being mean to people was how you made banter but it just made me look bad. At the end of my freshman year of hs i realized that i really had no one that wanted to spend time with me. So I just played more video games to keep my mind from losing it. I felt so alone, i mean i cant even describe how alone I felt. My parents fighting was reaching a boiling point, I had no one to talk to, and all I did was just isolate myself. Just as I had started to make friends my sophomore year, I got kicked out of school my junior year. I was back to nothing, the two-three friends I had were ripped from my hands. I was demoralized, I went into some major suic episodes, i felt so broken. I hadnt made any friends at my new school to be honest. I felt like a ghost walking around all day(still do quite often). I didnt know what to do with myself and quite frankly i have no idea how i am still writing this for you to this day. But somehow I managed to pull through. So how does this all tie into love? Well, my ex and I had just broken up a couple weeks ago, I was crushed at first. All that progress gone. It feels like all the progress in my life always just vanishes, but then this made me think. Somehow I keep progressing in my life despite these constant setbacks. Somehow I am still here, and that has to be for a reason. Then it all dawned upon me, I control my whole life, I am my own writer, author, artist, sculpture, etc. I am what I am. And that made me realize I need to love me for me. All these years of anguish and hating myself were to show me that I have to be me because I cant change who I am. Its still hard getting used to it, Ive been starting to pray to god more recently…hopefully that continues. Life is a journey, you create your own path, you choose where you go, you make your own adventure, you are you and there is nothing you can change about it but embrace it. Love yourself, as thats all you may have one day. -slixy <3
dont know what to do
Relationship Stress / by slixy
Last post
 February 28th, 2023
...See more hello, my ex and i broke up exactly 2 weeks ago and idrk what to do at this point. i feel like i have no one to talk to and honestly i just feel pretty lonely. i go on dating apps to hopefully talk to new girls but that doesnt really work because it just feels monotonous in my opinion. i just feel like talking to new women at this point, but idk where to even start or how to meet new people. obviously post breakup I realized that i need to work on myself (as does she). but also i want to be able to work on myself while talking to new people. i dont really even know what im asking at this point but i kind of just feel lost? idk how to explain it but i just feel really lonely now even though im not. i have plenty of friends but i just want something new and exciting again. slixy
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